Berries bErries BerRies

I'm fascinated by the berries here. I see them everywhere - on campus, outside my halls, on the fields and even on the roadsides. They're getting redder and juicier as the days go by. I wonder if they can be eaten. Cathy (from Athletics Club) says some of them could but I'd better not try.

Morning Runs

After settling down for about 2 weeks now in Heriot-Watt Uni in Edinburgh, my typical days now begin with my 7am morning runs. Warned my course mates that I'm a freak - 2 or 3 of them now join me occasionally for a jog around the campus grounds.

Every training has its unique moments. Sometimes its a reflectful jog in the woods, or seeing some swans and mandarin ducks on the canal. At times it's fighting the blustering freeze or pouring rain.

Sometimes there are glorious sunrises with pink and purple blazing the sky or it could be grand dark clouds overhead with mists rising over below.

And so I wonder : Isn't life like a jog in the mornings? It has its moments and it has its mundanity - but if I'd stopped jogging and stayed in bed, life would be so much less.

The Riddle

There was a man back in '95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him

Wait, what's the sense in life
Come over me, Come over me

He said,

"Son why you got to sing that tune
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see... You will see."

Then he said,

"Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I..."

Picked up my kid from school today
Did you learn anything cause in the world today
You can't live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me

He said,

"Dad I'm big but we're smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we're nothing at all
Still every mother's child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me"

And Hey Dad
Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

I said,

"Son for all I've told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world...
Who am I?"

There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we're not wise enough to see

He said... You looking for a clue I Love You free...

The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel's eyes
A song plays on while the moon is hiding over me
Something comes over me

I guess we're big and I guess we're small
If you think about it man you know we got it all
Cause we're all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely

Here's a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There's a reason for the world
You and I...

Memory Window Somewhere in 1993

Place : Cheras

Weird Dreams

1) The Family Squad
One famous millionaire, fell in love with a fatguy. Had to convince him that he (the fat guy) had a sex-change. Beauty contest. Dead body in van and boat. Saved by fishes

2) The Mobile Bank (Movie show)
Went to see a movie. Bought tickets at a mobile van. Thought it was a ticket booth. Bought it from a cute guy. Confusion. Came out and realized that it was a bank. Tried to get money back but cute guy turned out to be a crook.Helped by Chinese guy.

3) Going to meet Grandma
Went to see grandma in Kepong. Fond out Jenny was staying there for time-being to go to Chou's family an faster than ever.

4) The Capture of Me by The Black Slaves
While running, black slaves made a remark like "Why a pale girl running alone?" Scared. Then suddenly, alley turned dark and I was caught by an ugly looking black slave that had red bushy (spiky) hair.

5) The Making of the Queen
Put in cage. Later on was made into an important person because ruler of the black slaves were fond of me. He was like a blue and yellow soft toy (Big), like a Barney dinosaur.

6) The Return
Decided to return and see Grandma and see how Jenny and my so-called bf went. Sister saw me out and I was wearing a camel shirt and pants. Had an umbrella that could carry me like a parachute. The smaller I opened it, the lower it went and vice versa. Went west direction. It was raining.

Memory Window 11.30pm 6th March 2000

Place : Faro

Fiona: Well, we're still at the table, in the little restaurant, somewhere in the little town of Faro. Everybody's laughing, everybody's talking (at least Pooi Ling, Yuko, Ms Tunisia, Natasha and me)...but it's all talking and joking here...a very merry atmosphere. Now I know what it means to "eat, drink and be merry".

It's the final meal of ITC in Portugal - What am I feeling? Tired mostly; but now I feel nothing. It's like my mind's separated from my body. Though I can hear everyone talking and laughing, it feels like I'm not part of it anymore...but yet I'm thinking...

Whatsername

by Greenday

Thought I ran into you down on the street,
Then it turned out to only be a dream,
I made a point to burn all of the photographs,
She went away and then I took a different path,
I remember the face,
But I can't recall the name,
Now I wonder how whatsername has been

Seems that she disappeared without a trace,
Did she every marry old what's his face,
I made a point to burn all of the photographs,
She went away and then I took a different path,
I remember the face,
But I can't recall the name,
Now I wonder how whatsername has been

Remember, whatever,
It seems like forever ago,
Remember, whatever,
It seems like forever ago,
The regrets are useless,
In my mind,
She's in my head,
I must confess,
The regrets are useless,
In my mind,
She's in my head,
From so long ago

And in the darkest night,
If my memory serves me right,
I'll never turn back time

Forgetting you, but not the time

Yesterday's Writing Meet

I love our writing meets. Last night, a few of us met at Delicious, Bangsar Village to revive our creative juices. It has been some time since we last sat around after dinner for a round of scribbling, ruminating, reading and entertaining. Delicious was at it is, delicious.

Lud wrote about the fear of heights - a chinese man stuck on the KLCC bridge. Angeline's was a girl who lost her love but is still in denial (a 3 person perspective of the guy, the girl and the friend). Jenny's stories has a fantastical feel to it - like the picture of the snake which seemed to move in the book. Sharon's was about the fear of the years going by - aging - in the perspective of a Greek Goddess. Animah had a gem of the evening with the phrase 'flushed down the toilet of ....eternity'.

I wrote about a girl who was alone in the darkness of her friends' apartment. And the other story was a man who was losing his place at work after retiring. And finally about the friend who was a 'tick'- as in bloodsucking parasite.

And so passes another contemplative evening well-spent.

Sleep with your books

Fancy sleeping in a library? Or a library with beds in it - cream, plush walls, warm comfortable duvets, curled up with a book? *Sigh* A dream come true....New York has such a luxury - The New York Library Hotel where the floors are systematically categorized using the Dewey-Decimal system.

Thanks to such book-lovers such as Eric Forbes, we'd know more about the book-shop world.


Paris' most famous English-Language bookshop, Shakespeare & Co, located on 37, Rue de la Bucherie is also offering an opportunity to make a haven among its books. All its 91-year old charismatic owner, George Whitman, asks is,'you make your bed in the morning, help out in the shop, and read a book a day'.

Former Canadian crime-journalist; Jeremy Mercer, so inspired, wrote Books, Baguettes and Bedbugs: The Left Bank World of Shakespeare & Co. (Weidenfeld & Nicolson, November 10, 2005) - a 5 month account of his life among Shakespeare & Co's books. He also lists his 10 most-loved bookshops in the world on the Guardian.

Scared to drive

Now I know what it's like to have a phobia of driving. Motorcycles scare me the most.

The Lion, The Witch and The Wardobe

This is the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe I remember - the 1979 animated production by Bill Melendez. I think I was 5 or 6 at that time. My mother only let me watch it during the holidays but it was one of my favourite animated movies (my other favourite was Disney's Cinderella). When she gave her permission, I remember my sister and I would be so happy - we'd gladly take out the VHS tape (the small black one),put it in the VCR and let the magic begin. Even after I was 7 or 8, when there was the Fox and The Hound playing in the cinemas, I would still like to watch this cartoon even though it was grainy for want of wear, and the music was turning tinny. I cried at every viewing no matter how many times I watched it.

That was many years ago - memory is misty, the animation looks amateurish now, comical in fact. But I never forgot the immense sense of magic this story gave me (I hid in the big wardrobe in the backroom a few times) Memories remain - chants of "Turkish Delight, Turkish Delight", the haunting melody of the soundtrack and the slight crush on Peter Pevensie.




Fast forward 2005, this monstrous production epic will most probably dwarf all previous movie adaptations of the book. However it would be interesting to wonder if a child of the now will experience that same magic I felt and carry it with him/her far into the future. Probably.

Wall Therapy

This morning, back and shoulders were aching after 3 hours of climbing walls in 1U. Angie and I went to Camp 5, the 'climbing gym' to play spider-man/woman.

It was a test of physical and mental endurance. I started by scrambling aimlessly on some features but discovered that I was supposed to follow the colours. Didn't know that the paths was distinguished by them. Once I got stuck on the 'pink' route and yelled at Angie when she was only trying to help me. (Haha, sorry girl). After a few climbs, I found my arms just giving way despite my attempts to force them to obey. It was great though, I can understand how people can get addicted to this stuff. You could see the 'lean', 'mean' bodies of the more experienced climbers

Teamwork was really important too - it does certainly feel different when someone points the way or cheers you on. There were times when the climber felt frustated by the belayer, or when the belayer was frustrated with the climber but it's all in the game of 'trust'. People there were really helpful and friendly including the other climbers - they would cheer you on even if they didn't know you. That was nice.

Accordingly we were in TP (toprope) stage but the guy we talked to there said we weren't even officially climbing yet. Angie and I have our own definition - being in the "BP" stage. We discovered this while Angie was bouldering using the 'yellows'. Hahah - ask me next time what this is

Ms L

Lately I have been visitng a policyholder who was willing to come to our company function to give her testimony. Ms L was a very jovial, talkative and alert person. At first I expected her to be the typical Chinese auntie - I only spoke to her on the phone once before visiting her - but life is full of surprises....She was unlike anything I expected.
Ms L apparently has travelled and lived illegally in the US for close to 8 years. After a visit to the states in the 90s, she decided that life suited her fine there and the next thing she knew, she was living and working in an American-Chinese restaurant, keeping the accounts and also occasional day-to-day tasks of the gourmet business.
Looking at her pictures, she was a definite contrast to what she is today.
Proudly showing me her pictures and explaining her experiences in the US, Europe and China, one could see that she greatly cherishes her memories of independent living which seemed like a dream of a distant past. She was quite comfortable in front of the camera and could even speak without me prompting her. You could see she was a woman who knew what she wanted. She is now in a wheelchair and hardly gets out of the house.
One of my colleagues asked if she could get emotional during the testimonial (they wanted people to get touched at the event sadistic la). I told them I doubted it - Ms L didn't seem like the type to get weepy or melodramatic.
However on my last visit ( a few days ago), I only saw the hurt in her when she told me that comparing life now and then, the thought of it was more unbearable than the rheumatic pains of her cartiledgeless joints. I believe the pain to be excruciating. It was the first time I saw her shed tears, but only briefly.
"Life is uncertain, plan your future before it happens!"- ends the video. Learning from Ms L's experiences, I feel that her life easily could have been mine - there were many parallels - working and travelling in a foreign country, making numerous friends, initiating gatherings, living life to the fullest. She didn't plan to be disabled, but she did plan on getting better. Her request (upon asking her what she needed as a gift) was an exercise bicycle to help strengthen her legs. (she rejected the offer of a new wheel chair as she didn't see herself using one in the future) All the best to you Ms L - keep that chin up!

Americanisms

I've been reading this fascinating book for our next meet called "Made in America" by Bill Bryson. Though some parts were draggy and factual, there were some genuinely brilliant moments.

The book started on a hilarious note on how the legendary Maytflower landing at Plymouth never landed at Plymouth.

Like how he describes Benjamin Franklin as a notorious lecher in his day whilst he is immortalized to this day as America's most venerated forefathers.

Or how Edison leeched off his employees' invention and claimed most of the credit for himself.

Or how most American names are a misnomers of indian, dutch, irish, french words- the most hilarious is the State of Idaho which was named by Congress just because it sounded native american.

If you're a fan of Bill Bryson's, travel writing, America, cafe americano's and lattes then why not make it to this Saturday's meeting at 12 noon, November 26th, La Bodega's Lounge.

Solaris

After reading the book I read reviews on IMDB that the movie was equally riveting. The star rating was a 6.3/10 and described as follows:

"truly mesmerized by this film's approach"

"(Steven Soderbergh) finally gets one of his cinematic experiments right"

"With a tremendous cast, beautiful production design, excellent direction, and one of the best film scores in recent years"

Contrary to all the above quotes, I guess I didn't really like Soderberhg's interpretation of the movie. The saving grace is that he (Soderbergh) didn't turn it into a 'deep space nine' remake. It was thoughtful in its own right but the 'spirit of science' which for me, the core of the story, was not emphasized here. Soderbergh chose to focus on the love story bit - moving at the pace of 'In The Mood For Love In Space' - could be torturous to go through. As someone said, it's a "You either love it or hate it" kind of movie.

Excellence

"Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. "
- Aristotle

Opportunity

"Opportunity has a sly habit slipping in by the back door, and often it comes undisguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat. Perhaps this is why so many fail to recognize opportunity"
- Napoleon Hill

Attitude

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. This little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative."

- Clement W. Stone

The Wild West (Jawa)

I can't believe I hardly blogged a book but I daresay i will blog Lonesome Dove if it kills me (and my LOMA 351 exam tomorrow which I haven't studied for yet). On the road from West to East Java, this was such a fitting read - travelling and roughing it out in the 'wild' country. I was torn to choose either Small Island (which i've yet to finish) to accompany me or pick up Larry McMurtry's 945 page novel. Somehow, the Hat Creek outfit story suited the occasion and I was too darn right. Yee Haw!

The pages flew by and I hardly noticed that the back end of the book was drawing near. I must thank Krishna Kumar for recommending this gripping read - I swear there were two parts of the novel where my tears blurbled (ala cowboy style) - it had of course something to do with Deets and Augustus but I won't say what. Living it in the rough, the lesson learnt was this "The best way to deal with death is to get on with it as fast as you can". Amen to that.

Surabaya November 5 (Saturday)

0930h Last Day. Bus ride to Kamal - Madura is a shanty-town - dust on the roads, dust on the shacks, dust on the laundy hanging on the road sides, dust on the fruits at the market, dust on the man resting in the shade, dust on the children running barefoot.Bengkalan (the town on the way to Kamal) is full of goats - goats in the fields, goats tied to a tree, goats riding the becak. Funnily enough, they're all white in colour.
In the van, my skin gets sticky all over -it's hot. The roads are potted, Indon heads are bobbings, small brown, 'songkoks' sway from side to side as if dancing to the beat of the dangdut playing from the radio.
1530h An Ice Cream - at last! (A&W's not McD's)
1730h Surabaya airport reminds me of the Kota kinabalu airport excluding the airport tax.

Pulau Madura/Sumenep November 4(Friday)

Pulau Madura November 3 (Thursday)

2200h Sticky, hot, finally in an air-cond room after going through a hell-ride from Kamal to Pamekasan. Harrassed by cheating bus drivers, over-friendly Indons. A kind Indon drove us for free to Hotel Putri. Arrived there but they were fully occupied. I remember the stickiness and the flies of Surabaya bus station, the 'pong' of the waiting area, a lady asking me where I was going and then asks me for money, shanty towns along the whole stretch of road and the wind blowing in my face.

Mount Bromo November 1 and 2 (Tues and Wed)

I didn't seem to write any notes in Bromo. The weather was so lovely I must've forgot.
All I remember is the majestic sight of the puffing mountain Bromo, Mount Batok cone and the horses.
I remember too the other backpackers, who had to sit in the barely workable cramped van for 5 hours. Fortunately Philippe and I didn't take this van.
The sleepy dorms of Cemara Indah -and the sleepy town along the road down (which was a challenge to walk up again)

Prambanan Temple November 1(Tuesday)

1955h Breakfast in Bedhot Resto Terrace. Pigeons cooing, water trickling, train hoots and plane rumbles from a distance. Sun shining warm.
0930h Prambanan Temple: Old Buddhist and Hindu mythology on black rocks.
1100h Sitting tired and hot waiting for....
1130 Still waiting...

Dieng Plateau and Borobudur October 31 (Monday)

1200h The Dieng Plateau - Windy, sleepy hills dotted with vegetable terraces among misty volcanic hills
1715h Rain on Borobudur - black volcanic temple. Ancient, old, of days long gone, Boddhisatvas, shapely women, epic tales, look down on the twenty generations past.
1850h Hotel Amonjiwo - most expensive hotel in Jawa. It costs USD900 a nite here. No one amid the marbled walls in the middle of the Javanese jungle. Two little girls in sarong and flowers in their hair greet us with a bowl of frangipanis in their hands at the gate. Calls of the Maghrib amid misty hills.
2200h Indecision!
2230h Broke!

Jogjakarta - October 30th (Sunday)

0745h Yogja is a cleaner, neater town.
0900h Breakfast after a good shower (phew)
1130h Detour of the batik man (can't imagine why I wrote this)
1210h The Kraton - nice Balairungseri (sultan's audience room)
1530h Yogka weather is so nice that everyone sleeps oustide in their 'becaks', under the shade of their mango and jackfruit trees, on the street....
Free Guide: Edi -dancer in the Kraton.
Sleep
2030h The Ramayana Ballet - slim Javanese girls
There's a strange thing called Lesehan appearing on the streets of Yogja past 10 at night. Low tables and place mats appear on the side walks with make shift kitchens and pots providing your evening 'supper' - bebek ayam, sate kambing, soto, bakso etc.

Jakarta - Oct 29th (Saturday)

0725h It started with a lot of waiting. Woke up too early - Malaysian Time 1240pm: Sukarno Hatta Airport - dim.
1935h Jakarta - city of decaying buildings and human bodies -social decay, lepak, living to exist, flaking paint on the walls, rotting rubbish, broken pavements every step of the way.
2050h Kota Bus Station - crowded, huddled, noisy, chaotic, tired, bloated, feel like peeing.
All Night and All Morning- Cacophony of various musical merchants singing their own ditties.

Jawa

These are my jottings exactly as I wrote them

The March of the Penguins

I love this docu-movie. Warner Independent Pictures made a gem for 2005 - it has all the stops; haunting music, loving shots of parental penguin love, cute furry chicks and beautiful underwater shots. But don't be fooled - after this movie one can't help but be awed by the miracle that is the Emperor Penguins.

Aptenodytes forsteri
The largest penguin, the Emperor stands about 1.3 m (4 ft) and weighs between 20 and 45 kg (44 to 99 lb.). These birds live along the coasts and neighbouring seas of Antarctica. They are well adapted to the frigid climate. To further protect themselves against the cold, groups of adults and young huddle close to one another. They eat fish and squid that they catch in their sharp beaks while swimming under water.
When Emperor Penguins are courting they display brilliant orange ear patches. They breed during the long darkness of the Antarctic winter, gathering at rookeries during the months of April and May. They do not build nests or establish territories. Within a few hours after the female lays a single egg, the male positions the egg on top of his feet and covers it with a warm fold of abdominal skin. Shortly thereafter, the female travels over the ice to the open sea to feed, leaving the male to incubate the egg. About two months later she will return to feed and raise the newly-hatched chick.

"In the harshest place on earth, love finds a way". It’s funny – a reviewer groused on Amazon that this movie is ‘pro-life propaganda’. Nature IS pro-life – it is only man who behaves and thinks like an alien on this planet. I would like to come as an Emperor Penguin for the coming Halloween Party and I won’t be surprised if I see other ‘penguins’ too.

The week that was...

Here's a summary of exclamations, utterances, messages that made the week that was for me...:

"You're lazy." This comment hits me like a blow on the head. Maybe its a case of "Siapa yang termakan chili, terasa pedasnya" (Malay proverb literally translated says "Who eats the chilli, will feel the sting")

"Don't make me ineffective!" This comment makes me feel helpless. This is the problem of communication breakdown between two departments -why can't people accept the responsibility given to them? And what makes the person think that they themselves aren't very effective either?

"Have a good day" This exclamation is said every day. The person that said it made me realize that politeness pays (most of the time). It's rare to find well mannered people come to think of it.

"Let me send you to your place" This comment makes me retreasure the person who said it. Old good friends are harder to find.

"I've never felt so dissappointed in my life" I think I said this my self one time this week. But I'd rather think about getting myself together after the dissappointment than dwell on it.

" What is your nice unfair advantage?" A very useful reminder of re-evaluating your strengths and weaknesses.

"Everyone lives as if they'll never die." I mis-interpreted the person the first time I heard it by answering "But that's the way we should live?" What she meant was that people live their lives in a thoughtless manner. If we realized how limited our time were, we would most probably be living it differently.

Books of 2005

Closing post for the week, I just joined the British Council Library in Wisma Selangor Dredging (finally!) They have nice titles and Ms Komathi was really helpful and they close at 9pm - great! And so I make my count of the books I've read. One of these days I have to use Krishna Kumar's Star benchmarking system on rating book utility though. Special thanks also to Sharon, Fiction and Friends and the creative writers(you know who you are) for lending me some of your books.

Read so far:
1) His Dark Materials - Phillip Pullman
2) The No. 1 Detective Ladies Agency - Alexander McCall Smith
3) He's Just Not That Into You - Greg Behrendt
4) The Phantom Tollbooth - Norton Juster
5) The Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
6) The Two Sisters - Tagore
7) The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
8) Reading Lolita in Tehran - Azhar Nafisi
9) Harmony Silk Factory - Tash Aw
10) The Secret Life of Bees - Sue Monk Kidd
11) The Piano Teacher - Elfride Jelinek
12) A Year in The Merde - Stephen Clarke
13) A Wild Sheep Chase - Haruki Murakami
14) My Uncle Oswald - Roald Dahl
15) Across The Red River (Into the Heart of Darkness -Rwanda, Burundi and Congo) - Christian Jennings
16) No Longer At Ease - Chinua Achebe
17) The Hours - Michael Cunningham
18) Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro
19) Dance Dance Dance -Haruki Murakami
20) Lolita - Nabokov

Now Reading:
1) The Lexus and The Olive Tree - Thomas Friedman (Re-read)
2) Solaris - Stanislaw Lem

Have in hand but wanting to read:
1) Small Island - Andrea Levy
2) A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
3) Execution - Bossidy Charan and Burck
4) Lonesome Dove - Larry McMurtry

Don't have but want to beg/steal/borrow:
1) Arthur and George - Julian Barnes
2) The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell

Occasionally think about and want to read:
1) Underworld - Don Dellilo
2) The Death and Life of Dith Pran - Sydney Schonberg
3) Sightseeing - Rattawup Lapcharoensap

Over the weekend....

It's another weekend gone and once again my financials spike ceiling-wards. I like to think of my expenditures as 'events' to categorize under. Damages are as follows:

Friday Oct 7
Entertainment: RM50.00 (Karaoke at Neway)
Transport: RM4.00 (Parking at Berjaya Times Square)

Saturday Oct 8
Food: RM30.01 (Chilli's at KLCC for friend's farewell, Starbucks in BTS and soya bean at Petaling St)
Transport: RM5.00 (Parking at BTS)
Clothes: RM13.00 (Yoga pants at Petaling St, really needed one and it's really cheap too)
Servicing:RM8.00 (I love this category - it's funny)


Sunday Oct 9
Transport: RM6.00 (Parking at KLCC)
Entertainment: RM10.00 (Watched Saint Ange at KLCC)
Food: RM11.00 (Cappucino and bread at Sun moulin)
Servicing:RM55.00 (Nice)
Books: RM98.23 (There goes my book quota at Kino last Sunday)
Food: RM16.80 (Stuff from the Bangsar Night Market)

Looking at it, averagely I would run around at least 3 places in a day on the weekend. That would make like 6 locations in a weekend. I can't seem to help it. It's in my nature - but of course there's the issue of spending. Would it be better to stay cooped up at home? I don't think so. I'm a retailer's dream come true methinks.

First Time 7.42pm

This is one of the rare times I've been in the office later than past 5pm. I'm not bashful about going home on the dot. Think in this culture it's still considered 'taboo' to be timely about going home. Oh well, fortunately for me, moi doesn't think so. I wouldn't mind staying past the office hour - sometimes I feel like but then again, I would like a balance of both worlds too.

Last Weekend - Melaka Hunt and gym

Last Saturday, I went on a Treasure Hunt in Melaka with Anna (I call her my crazy Italian lady which I think she doesn't mind - she says if 'one cannot be crazy, one cannot be wise'). It was organized by her friend Marie-Francoise for the French Association. Things started well when I got lost to her finding her place (seems I discovered a quirk of mine - I can't follow instruction and directions very well) which kind of foretells how I would fare in a treasure hunt. Haha

3 cockerels, dead Francis Xavier missionaries, Tiger Gods, crypts, weddings, 'handless' statues, old Indian mosques, the Melaka tree, baba nyonya heritage, historians, herb gardens - it was the first time I 'discovered' Melaka after having visited it for the umpteenth time. The thing that left the deepest impression on me was Serge and Casey, the couple who passionately spent a year rebuilding a dilapidated rickety storehouse into a beautiful inn with a legacy and character. Thanks Anna and Marie Francoise for the trip!

Sunday was another eventful day - I spent it in the only way I think best suits a Sunday - working out and shopping. I did back-to-back classes of Bodystep, Bodypump and Bodybalance. I wanted to run another 1/2 hour after that but when I fell asleep in Bodybalance, I knew my body got the better of me. As Sarah, my friend couldn't make it, I was on my own and free to do what I want - rediscovered that I like shopping alone. As Fitness First was at the Curve, I spent the next few hours perusing the shops....and short-term gratifying myself with a few purchases. Aaah....what a weekend. So I'm a few pounds and ringgit lighter come Monday - gosh I don't want to look at my credit card statements this month end!

One less frustrated golfer...

I went to the driving range on my own last Monday. Supposed to meet up with Vincent but he couldn't leave early enough. So I whacked a few balls on my own. I haven't been practicing for ages and I wasn't surprised when my balls flew left, right, centre (most of the time hitting the low barrier with a really loud and embarrassing "Thump"!) I had a few winners though but they were few and far in between. The Indian golfer next to me must have either been a. Annoyed at the loud clangings or b. Worried that one of my balls would fly up and hit him. He sat down and observed what I was doing but didn't make any comment about my lousy golf shots. It was some time when I almost finished about 70-80% of my 100 balls when an old uncle who was just leaving with his bag in tow stood and looked at what I was doing. I wondered "Gosh, I must be either pretty good (as the only girl there) or extremely bad" - of course hoped for the former. I looked up at old uncle and jokingly said "How am I doing? Do you have a free tip for me?". Old uncle was only too happy to show me that my wrist work and club face angle was not good - and I was forcing the shot, not really letting it go naturally. He made me do a few shots in the correct way (it dribbled pathetically down the driveway) but nevertheless I thanked him for his time and teaching. He said "Well, I don't mind - if it means that there's at least one less frustated golfer among us. We should all be enjoying the game" Which I laughed and had to agree.

Troi couleur:Rouge

I meant to post something on this movie last Thursday. But me being unwise, I typed it directly onto the blog. And not surprisingly Internet explorer ‘hanged’ and I lost everything that was typed. Now I’m typing this on Word before transferring it on blog.

Red is the final part of Kieslowski’s brilliant Three Colour trilogy. This was the final movie he completed before his death and is acknowledged as THE Masterpiece amongst the three. Of all the interpretations, I liked most this one “if all three films are examined as a whole, the common unifying element is love” And Red being the colour of love, it closes the trilogy with this theme.

Frankly the movie was pretty hard for me to digest – maybe I wasn’t in my best frame of mind to think. There were random, connective scenes which needed processing which I didn’t catch. For instance, the scene of the young man running to his exam and dropping the book on the road. Then Judge Kern relates the same experience as he was young. Then the visual of the broken glass mug at the bowling alley, and the other broken glass shot in the judge’s house. I thought “Could the times sequence of the movie have purposely been unrelayed?”. “Is Judge Kern a psychic or psycho?”. The scenes seemed unrelated and detached which confused me. However I must admit the final scene was magnificent where Valentine’s profile was captured in a momentous glance which appeared earlier on in the movie.

Still I prefer Blue.

The Piano Girl

I'm really excited about my friend's piano. She ordered it last Saturday and it's finally coming! Angie will and always will be THE music girl in my mind - and also my best friend by the way. Days of us dressed in turqouise secondary school uniforms (hers seemed a different colour from the normal turquoise I remember) and going for choir practice every week after school come back to me everytime we sit at the piano on some evenings to make music. I don't have any pictures of us then - they are misty, watercolour images in my head; the school piano, the stage, the velvet curtains, the choir girls in uniform - but the feelings of the harmonies and the fun we had are still very much alive and everytime we sit at the piano it all comes back to me. Angie is always the organizer -she was the one leading the school choir and was president of the music society then. I remember a time in Form 4 when we had an inter-school choir competition and I was really nervous about fumbling as the piano accompaniment. We were in the midst of our exams but yet had to compete so I didn't really have much practice. It would have been really bad if the choir failed to do its best when the accompaniment spoilt it! She gave me encouragement and talked me out of it. Thankfully it went well.(we didn't win though, St John's Choir took the trophy I think)

Angie, here's to your new piano - the music's always there with you!

STOMP!

Stomp was amazing!

The Perfect Moment

The music rang clear as the pedals hit the strings and the moment is suddenly, unexpectedly perfect. Music filled the house - the tones played on the piano reverberated with the human voice.

Teaching

He sat up -concentrated very enthusiastically over his writing. I had timed him for 2 minutes to write as many Malay words as he could. Little boy in shorts, in a washed-too-many-times faded t-shirt, sitting at the plastic table and chair in his small apartment in Cheras. I was tutoring him in Malay language as one of my friends could not take him up as she tutored students mainly in PJ or TTDI. He was a bright student though slightly on the slow side. This was my 2nd month of tutoring him.

"Times up!" I said.

He let out an 'Aiya' exclamation...one of signals that showed he was more motivated than he wanted to convey. He was a funny chap. When faced with a difficult question he often said "I cannot do it", "I don't know how to do it", "Cannot cannot cannot", "I don't know how"...in a consistency that surprised me- sometimes he said it even before I even gave him any questions. It was as if he was trying to test me - "Do what you want, but I cannot do it" or "Don't expect anything out of me" - which was disturbing for me. How can one so young already be programmed to think that he will fail? For most of the lesson, I struggled to keep his attention on the lesson and his learning attitude in place.

However in this session tonight, for once he genuinely was interested in what he was doing and doing it with a fervour. This little spark I will keep nurturing (albeit with much patience though) until he makes it.

I'm Back!

After 2 weeks of being away I'm finally blogging again. In between I visited Ipoh Taiping, was in company trainings, workshops, turned 27 years old and spent a very nice 5 days in Phuket. Thought I'd drop a message here before I go into 'blog oblivion' - that obscure place where you're a million miles from posting messages and your page gets stuck at the same place all the time. Good to be back!

Hide and Seek

by Howard Jones

There was a time when there was nothing at al
Nothing at all, just a distant hum
There was a being and he lived on his own
He had no one to talk to, and nothing to do
He drew up the plans, learnt to work with his hands
A million years passed by and his work was done
And his words were these...

Hope you find it in everything, everything that you see
Hope you find it in everything, everything that you see
Hope you find it, hope you find it
Hope you find me in you

Fiona's Law

Murphy's Law:
If anything can go wrong, it will.

Fiona's Law:
(Murphy's Law x Careless) = (Aftermath)(power to gazillion times)

Here's how the above is demonstrated:

Phuket Trip:
I get ready to fly off to Phuket - everything packed and ready to go. Even the minutest detail taken care of - bottle of water, extra underwear, contact lenses, etc in the bag. Timed to leave the house at 9am for the flight check in at 10.45am. Mother (who was informed beforehand) is ready to take me to the KLIA Transit station. I open my passport and see that it's expired -Feb 2005. Great.

Parking Ticket:
Pissed off that I had to reschedule the trip, I go off to Mid Valley with Philippe who wanted to do some grocery shopping. Realizing that I would be RM800 poorer due to the change in airticket AND renewal of passport, I vowed not spend a cent on anything in Mid Valley. Parking is free so don't have to pay anything. Lunch, can eat at home. Just the petrol and the occasional phone call to AirAsia to settle the details. In Carrefour, I pass the food aisle, resist the urge to pick up useless food items. Resist the urge to eat lunch in Mid Valley itself. Checking out time, time to pay the parking. Where's the ticket? Not in my bag though I swore I saw it drop in my sack during the entry. It must have dropped out when my bag tilted or when I took out my hp to answer a call. Run around Carrefour retracing my steps. Ask the info counter and security counters. No one has seen it. After 1/2 an hour I give up. Pay the RM20 for the lost ticket. Great.

Happy Merdeka Day

Selamat Hari Merdeka
Hari ini kena jadi drebar pendekar
Terlupa hari ini jalan tertutup
Jln Tun Razak, Jln Ampang terbuntut
Kereta terpasang jalur gemilang
Semangat keMalaysiaan berkobar-kobar
sewaktu kemelesetan ekonomi yang menular
Harga petrol sudah naik
Nak meraih pun rasa perit
Saya tetap juga nak pergi
Menonton bunga api di KLCC
bersama Indon, Bangla sekali

Three Colours: White

I found this movie lighter than the first, 'Blue'. While 'Blue' was tragically liberating, I found 'White', tragically comic. I couldn't make an immediate connection between the first and the second as they were entirely independent in style and structure.

An interesting observation by Dave Kehr:

"The structure of the trilogy follows the traditional pattern of a three-act play: an opening statement of the themes and images (Blue), a reversal of those themes (White), and finally a synthesis and resolution (Red) that moves the themes to a different level"

Ahhh....a very clever view point and adds more bits to the puzzle.

White begins in Paris- Karol Karol a Polish hairdresser is being divorced by his French wife, Dominique on the basis that the marriage wasn't consumnated. Having lost his self-respect, humiliated cruelly by his wife, he smuggles himself back to Poland in a suitcase. In Poland, he slowly gains his lost pride which ultimately leads him to exact 'equality' on his cold-blooded wife. The twist to the story happens at the very end where he sees his wife in prison and realizes that she still loves him and he still loves her. Equally ironic.



I liked the film - but thought that 'Blue' was more powerful in delivery. On the side, the funny bit about the screening at AEI was the genius 'pre-empting' of the host on the steamy scenes of the movie. Such is the case if we have to placate purists coming to such screenings.

Staging an Act

It's in a buzz. Head slightly light after a double-dose of coffee. Somehow it can't seem to focus its mind. There are days when it did too many things at once, and had too many things to do. Today is one of them . There were also days it stared at the digital dial on its desktop, time dripped slowly as if through a decanter. It was a first class act. It could change its skin like a chameleon and take on many roles. Some roles required its heaviest concentration of skill and some roles it played with such ease, it didn't require thinking - effortless and subconsciously. The following are the roles it has played this week:


Fire Fighter
Nerd
Office worker
Phone 'porridge cooker' (Chinese expression of someone who talks too long on the phone)
Rude person
Pretender
Spy
Busybody
Liar
Sex worker
...and the list goes on.

It sits now at its table, wondering what role would come next. Or is it already assuming one at the moment?...Yes, without it realizing, it is now playing the role of 'schemer'. That is why it cannot focus its mind. It is not a natural manipulator of resources and planning. This requires much amount of work and effort to learn and it has not much time. Now that it has realized what it has become, the learning process begins....

Falling Off the Face of The Earth

The following was sparked by Murakami.

Phone rings
I let it go unanswered

SMS comes
I ignore it

Email drops in
I don't reply

Job postings in inbox
I put it in the trash

Enquiries from customers come in
I cancel the phone calls

Mother Father calls me/sms me. Worried about me
I am not there

Lover calls me/emails me/sms me. Feeling ignored
I disappear, unresolved.

Friends miss calls me, sends me a message. What happened to you?
I am non existent, no response


I sit at home
Feeling nothing, doing nothing
Falling out of the face of society
People stop enquiring
It takes only 90 days to erase a human memory
To be a nothing, wait 90 days
To stay a nothing, do nothing

An Afternoon of Discourse

Last Saturday at La Bodega's was a pretty interesting afternoon indeed. Some of us have met before and some for the first time. And so the 7 of us 'congregated' at La Bodega's Lounge in Bangsar Baru for the first time to talk on....'tan tan ta ra'! ...books! (and also a myriad of related topics....movies, what we do, where we came from, authors, genres etc.) It was also amazing as none of us were from similar backgrounds: some coming from different countries, some locals, some on holiday, some working, some owning their own businesses - everyone's geniality, openness and friendliness amazed me. Thus, I believe that's the magic of book clubs - it takes just the love of books to get people started on sharing. I just love it!

Flesh is Willing, Spirit is Weak

I froze my Fitness First membership for a few months due to the cost and to see if I could live without going for gym for a month. Its been 4 weeks now and I'm getting that 'lazy' feeling again. The feeling of wanting to go home, curl up with my book and munch on everything in the larder. Haven't felt this for years since I started seriously exercising 2 years ago. But somehow I feel deprived. Something's missing but I can't put my finger on it. I don't miss going to the gym, don't miss getting on the treadmill and sweating it out. In fact there's nothing more boring in the world than to run on a treadmill - going through the same motions repeatedly for 20 minutes - so very tedious and burdensome. But yet, my body wants to go and 'punish' itself and to achieve that 'high' after a strenuous workout. Where you're huffing and puffing and sweat is everywhere like a slick coat on your skin. The feeling when your heart is pumping blood like mad throughout your body and you're still going and going and going is exhilarating. Maybe this is the feeling that I miss but my mind is telling me "no money lar" and "you can always find other ways to exercise lar" or "don't be so obsessed lar"

Think I'm having a case of where 'the flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak'

Turd

Beginning at the precipice into the cavity, it moved down the chunnel and squeezed by the funnel. Biological clock moves from the top of the body, cells gradually changing, metamorphosizing, dying and sloughing. New ones activate, slowly from the inner to the outer layers. The motion of life slowly pervading to the lower regions of the torso like the gradual sweeping of light over the millions of grass blades overcasting the meadow. Feeding, always feeding -each individual body of life eating at it, the provider, the life force that flows into their path. Now at the heart of it all, mixtures of gas and chemical burst in reaction, frenzied by the gyrations of life. Dub dub, dub dub....but the journey moves on slowly churning and gurgling like a boiling mass in a contained organic pot slowly transforming it like a well-thought of cuisine prepared with utmost care by the host. Once the orgy is over, the activities subside like the guests that lie exhausted from the previous nights alcohol and crazed sex and dancing- dead but useless. Slowly but surely it's journey still continues. Sludging its way through, pushed without its consent, it slides where it can then stops where it can, sliding again and stopping. Who knows when this motion will end? Its uses spent, poor dead creature but it still moves on. At the nether regions, the movement is slowing almost to a halt. It is slowing, slowing. Soon the moment will come - it does not know. It is dead. It lies forever like this, still and unmoving. Still, still, still. And then the instant arrives, a sudden heave of motion expurges the dead thing out, taking with it all the uselessness and waste where it comes into a new world where no one knows where next it will go.

Another dream

I dreamt another dream this time.

She was wearing a black t-shirt and walking ahead of me. This person seems familiar; someone I know. No, I DO know her. She turns and asks me 'Did you lock your car?' My heartbeat rises a notch. I don't recall pressing the alarm button that makes my car go 'tweep' once. 'Tweep tweep' twice is to unlock it. Or did I do both? Locked it and then unlocked it? I want to get back to my car immediately.

Dream

I didn't update my blog for 2 days! God forgive me for my blog sloth!
I had a dream yesterday about my colleague. She used to mentor me in the days I was a young executive. She moved on to another country for work purpose, now holding a higher position and doing pretty well.

She was onstage receiving an award - it was a big recognition where everyone looks at you, applause going around, spotlight on you. She stepped down and hugged me like I was the most important person in the world - funny I thought cause we weren't close in that manner - I used to hate her guts for being so bossy and annoying. But she was really happy to see me.

Book Clubs Again

Yes, after months of testing, trying, delaying, procrastinating, I'm finally going to get this book club moving again. It's been really great participating in other books and literary groups like fictionandfriends, the book readings. And something tells /screams at me that it's high time I should start it as soon as possible. Why? Not sure.

I've posted a few notices in 2 or 3 forums, and am encouraged by the response. So we shall have the first meeting soon and start the ball rolling.

Chaque Seconde

By Kyo

Je veux vivre chaque seconde
Comme si demain était la fin du monde
Etre libre pour de bon
A trop vouloir s' élever on tombe

God Bless Girlfriends

Praise God for the providence of girlfriends

Haze, Traffic jams and Petrol Prices

The weather today: Hazy

So was the weather yesterday - today it got slightly better. The moment I stepped out of my office building yesterday evening I smelt that familiar burnt, dusty, pungent smell again. Reminded me of the haze of 1997 in KL - that lasted weeks.
This morning, it started to drizzle as I got into my car - my concern: acid rain disintegrating the metal body of my Kenari. Thank goodness I drive nowadays. Wouldn't want to have a acid-burn on my way to work.

The financial concern today: Petrol Price

This is the 2nd time this year that petrol prices increased. RM0.10 sen per litre. The last time I pumped was on July 31st - RM40 which is a full tank for my car got me only about 26 litres. Hallah hallah -but am thankful that if a bit of pricey petrol can save my face from acid disintegration, why not?


The CD album played in my car today: Keane:Hopes and Fears

Song of the day is "Everybody's Changing". I swear driving around in my car alone with the music blasting is entertainment itself. RM10 of petrol in the tank and driving (traffic free) is just as good as RM10 at TGV/GSC.

The word on oneword.com today: WEAPON
Time alloted: 60 seconds
Total entries: 63

Here are my favourite 5:

[velvethellvis]
Never use your feminine wiles as a weapon. they'll come back to bite you in the end when you've grown old, fat and ugly. trust me i know this.

[jaded hope]
my weaopn of choice is honesty. but not the easy, every day kind. the stuff that is left unsaid, hanging on the misconceptions of your perceptions. i say what no one wants to hear but NEEDS to hear and the power in uncovering a truth so blatantly ignored moves me beyond words.

[sam spade]
mary took the shower sprayer off it's hook and started spraying between my legs.in her other hand she held a large soapy sponge,which she immediately started rubbing all over my chest,"choose your weapon,"she cooed.

[Devilal Rajappan]
weapons of mass distructions are causing evoke in our world.we have to stop the manufacturing and use of weapons and spread the word of love.love all live long.help others..

[Dave]
my favorite weapon is the pen. you scum-sucking ingrate of a human. i can call you anything i want. fucker. asshole. or i can just stab you with it.

The Unrequited Love

She smiled back at it
The being in the pond
It smiled back at her
Branches all and frond

When she moved to touch it
It moved back to touch her
She was delighted in her fortune
At last she found a peer

It stood by her in sunny days
It stood by her in rain
At times she thought she was alone
But It took away her pain

"At last I found my one true love"
It smiled and said "Me too"
It's expression reflected hers
A glowing tender hue

Then one day she felt amiss
Her face,hands wilting brown
She didn't feel as strong as before
Dead petals on her crown

It looked at her all sad
It's face mirrored her illness
She looked to It for love while in her dying
All It gave was stillness

Finally her body fell
The flower by the pond
Her reflection in the water did the same
An unrequited bond

Ode to Garlic

White maiden in filmy dress
How you hide your smelly body
I smash you with my cleaver
In hopes that you will weaver
The magic of your senses
Mingling with the aubergines
Baba ganoush unlike ever seen

Cloves in droves
Cloves in droves
Cloves in droves

Oh pretty bulbs sitting in the box
I gather all of you
Many as I can
I cannot resist your temptations
Please please, tickle me with your sensations
After devouring you completely
Your odour resides in my mouth infinitely
Driving away other lovers
I don't need them, don't need the others

Cloves in droves
Cloves in droves
Cloves in droves

Somewhere Only We Know

By Keane
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Hotel Rwanda

I'd wanted to upload Keane lyrics but stumbled upon this interview on the genocide in Rwanda.

And since we were on the subject of movies - I was compelled to mention Hotel Rwanda after reading the interview by this journalist who witnessed the mass killings and genocide in Rwanda.

For those who haven't watched this movie yet - it is highly recommended. Not for it's aestheticity but for the very real message of Rwanda -how we as human beings would respond when we stare evil in the face. In the case of Rwanda, nothing was done. Do pick this up and then read the interview after.

Trois couleurs:Bleu

Yesterday's film at the Asia Europe Institute was another thinker-considered a 'major triumph of European Cinema"- interlaced with orchestrated music and visual themes. Trois couleur Bleu is the first of a trilogy by Krzysztof Kieslowski which examines the French ideals of liberty, fraternity and equality. The role of the woman dealing with the loss of her husband and child seemed made for Juliette Binoche who is absolutely in her element.

In the informal 'toilet debriefing', I mentioned to Amy and Yin Li if I or a lay-Malaysian would appreciate this kind of movie if it were played on a DVD instead of being shown on a big screen of an institution of higher learning amongst literati, academics and students. The answer is I that would - attesting to the fact that the musical score is already imprinted in my mind and Binoches bleeding knuckles scraping the stone wall is still playing in my head. Which I would like to allude my gratitude to organizations like the Asia-Europe Institute for planting the seed of appreciation in our culture-starved soil via these movie features.

Money, Status, Power

He called in last week regarding his case. Actually it was the manager who didn't know how to deal with the request who pushed the phone call in a beep via receiver that pushed his story to me.

The request? To transfer his brother's customers (who was a former terminated sales person) to his name.

He walked in - short, aging, dark skinned 50+ Chinese man with big spectacles.

"Very busy ar? Sorry to come in this time but my case very urgent"

Well, I know your case is very urgent, isn't everybody's own case very urgent?

"You don't know my story -let me tell you ar..."

I stopped him there. I knew exactly what his story was after checking various sources from other departments. Apparently he came in once before a few months ago to plead his case - he did not qualify for the requirements to have the assignation. The manager in charge then tried to help him but they couldn't transfer the cases due to the system limitations (in-built rule in the mainframe) After being explained to, he still wasn't satisfied and was coming in again now to 'try his luck. So I let him talk.

"I am a member of the Union, I know the people there. I will put this in writing and it's only a matter of time before I put in a formal complaint. I'm not happy with the way the management run things. They're always hiding things from us which is not transparent.If you want me to talk to your boss I will.. " yada yada yada

I've heard these lines many times - over and over again. Like a broken record. Don't these people know that their song have been sung by others before? To the same tune?

Then I wondered what it would be like in his shoes. He must be really desperate for money to take over old customers of a terminated sales man. Also, to bear the humiliation of going from one person to another just to get a few pittance in commission. Now he has to deal with a young upstart like me to get his case through.Money - no; Status -no; Power -no. The most pathetic thing is that he tried to use name dropping and co-ersion to get people's attention to his case. And I wonder if at the age of 56 how long and how far would I go to get a few sen in my pocket....God forbid.

Speed of Sound

By Coldplay

Look up, I look up at night
Planets are moving at the speed of light
Climb up, up in the trees
Every chance that you get is a chance you seize
How long am I gonna stand
With my head stuck under the sand
I'll start before I can stop or
Before I see things the right way up


All that noise and all that sound
All those places I have got found
And birds go flying at the speed of sound
To show you how it all began
Birds come flying from the underground
If you could see it then you'd understand

Zouk Girl's Night Out

Mambo Jumbo night - Olivia Newton John & John Travolta's "Grease Lightning" ,Kylie Minogue "I Should Be So Lucky", Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up" basically the good stuff from the 80s and early 90s, guys from Perth trying to get lucky, old friend with her colleague, mini skirts, halter necks....etc

- Inventory list:
1 Glass of Wine
6 Sex On the Beaches
4 Tequila Shots
2 Malibu Rum and Pineapples
1 Beer
1 Big Fucking Hangover

It's a blast - Someone still proves that she can really handle her alcohol (which I greatly admire and still get amazed at). Two still has to go to work today (which they were late for)- two having a big mega headache and puky feeling(and the other doesnt ) Hallelujah hallah hallah

Parking Meter

The parking meter stood at attention every morning. "Yes Sir -Park Here Sir-Thank You for the Change Sir-Have a good day sir!" But every morning, the cars park there and gives the money to the 'Jaga Kereta'instead. That scrubby grubby darkie with the I-swear-they-smell clothes who waits by the side of the road waiting for the next 'car victim' to come. He ignores the poor parking meter and his brothers who stand there faithfully every morning and robs the very sen under their noses from the 'car parkers'. The 'Jaga' knows his stuff - the moment a car comes up the road he runs to the car and motions them like a true professional car park jockey. 'Turn this way' 'Turn that way' 'Reverse a bit' 'Yes Sir this is good' 'Only 1 ringgit park here' 'I take good care of your car'. The drivers look suspicious most of the time but most reach into their wallet to pay the 'Jaga' (in case he does something maleficient to their cars which would ultimately cost more than the 1 ringgit) They never see the parking meters.
Moral of the story:
To get a sale, you can't expect people to put money in your mouth -to get a sale, you have to reach out to the people and take the money.
OR
Look authoritative -people most of the time comply. If that doesn't work, look threatening.

Bastille Day

Yesterday, July 14th (14 juillet) was Bastille Day. We celebrated it at the Ambassador's Residence, Ambassade de France in Jalan Ampang with Champagne and Kiwi Brandy - nice. There were plenty of French people there and the occasional non-French - SPG type girls, a few Indians hovering over the alcohol dispensary and even saw Anna L'italiana there. Also met a pleasant French girl who was Philippe's ex-schoolmate - she works in Alcatel, Wisma Denmark down the road from AIA. Observed the people there (did this amidst trying to act busy - you can only do so much whilst standing and pretending to understand what people are saying). Over the occasional "oui","non","moins","enchantee" - which were the only few words I could pick up - on the flat screen TV a minute of silence was observed in Paris during the celebrations for the London bomb attack victims - cigar smoke blowing in my face - chatter chatter chatter dans le Francais - heels elevated stressing my achilles - live band belting out 'You're Too Good to Be True". A Bastille Day to remember

After the Break In

I opened the car boot to put in my carried paper bag. 'Hey, why is there pieces of glass in my boot? I don't remember carrying anything made of glass' Then I noticed that my boot was empty. Turning to my left, I see the shattered glass, half dangling inwards.
'Oh shit' I exclaim.
Running into the side, I see the locks have been lifted up. Inspected the front for anything missing. Car radio still intact, steering lock still in place. Open the dashboard, everything looks the same. Look at the CDs - they're still there.I run back to the boot.
Losses discovered - missing golf bag - main thing I notice. 'Dammit!'(later on there would be more - Nike shoe box, Sarah's CDs and DVD)
I call Philippe and then the Perodua sales man Kevin.

" It was dark mother. I tried, I really tried but it was too much for me. I had no choice but to break. He and his friends came from nowhere. It was dark. They hit me again and again. Your alarm rang, but they reached in through my broken body. I wanted to cry "Stop! Stop!" but I am silent - torn - only a shattered piece of glass. A man walking pass. He peers at me, inside me. I'm afraid he will reach in. By now I can do nothing. He stops only for a second. Then moves on. Now I am nothing. But mostly I am sorry. I've tried my best and this is what I could give"

There's that car again. Let's do it tonight. No one around. It's dark. Where's the stool? Here it is. Smash it quick. Alarm sounding. Fast fast fast. Put the hand in. Lift the boot lock knob.Open car boot. Grab the golf bag. Grab the shoe box. There's a black plastic. What's inside? CDs, a DVD. Grab that too. Someone's looking. Run, run run.

Obituary Of A Car Window

Quarter Car Window
Born February 2, 2005
Died July 11, 2005

Little Quarter Car Window, you will be sadly missed by Kenari, Brothers Front and Back Windshield, Sisters Left and Right Side-windows and mostly Car Owner Fiona. Thank you for protecting the inside of Kenari from the sun, dust, rain and preventing mosquitoes coming in. Your deeds will not be forgotten

And so you want to be a writer...

"And so you want to be a writer eh...?" says the old man to him.
"Yeah I do..." he replies unconvincingly.

What is it about the people that value the process - you don't get to be egoistic and proud enough to want to follow it through. That's the problem with the little people -they're there to do the work but not to get the name. And which side of the coin is worse? The egoists or the hardworking cowardice? (I'm writing this on computer while being interrupted on the phone - it's true what my creative writing instructor says - that on the keyboard you tend to want to go back and delete what you've written - and methinks the office is not the most convenient place to write anyway) And going back to the young man;

He walks down the street pondering on the old man's question "So you WANT to be a writer eh?"....Gone were the times when he used to bind his own little notebook with the scribblings and doodles which carried the pregnant weight of his thoughts.

"Yes I do want to be a writer -I AM a writer" he thinks.

But he also thinks of the sweat, the tears and the rejections of publishing.

"Oh well, at least I could give it a try"

But he knows in the back of his mind that he will start this pursuit with frenzy which lasts but a few months and from then on it's back to square one. He realizes this but he also holds on to the motto that 'You have only one life to live, so live it!' He also hopes that this time, it would not be just another trivial pursuit.

"Who knows, I'll make it this time - I'll promise myself that I'll keep at it -I'll persevere as I've never persevered before. THAT would make the difference" he mutters to himself.

And so he hurries to the nearest bookshop, full of determination, to get the whitest bound paper weight from Popular bookstore and the smoothest black roller ball pen (and a few other colour pens too since colours stimulate the right brain) and hurries home.

My First Book Reading

Last Friday I attended my first ever book reading at Sharon Bakar's. And boy, it was by far one of the most memorable of my Friday nights.

I was hesitant whether or not to go as it wasn't one of my best days at work. However I made my decision to come since it was so nearby Tropicana Golf and Country Club after the agent's product launching and I needed a quiet but meaningful activity where I can sit and contemplate.

Thing was, Sharon forgot to email that the reading was off since there were only 2 respondees. When I finally got there, it seemed awfully quiet. Sharon's husband answered the door (didn't seem too pleased at my intrusion). Sharon was surprised - I'd just interrupted her musical recorder concerto. But she was really nice and even poured me a glass of wine AND gave me an impromptu performance of her recorder skills.

Not only that, she managed to get Jaeson Iskandar (reader/performer/artist) on her mobile and he was a sweetie - actually gave me a reading from Brokeback Mountain via the MOBILE. Yes, Wyoming, America came alive for 30 minutes for me via the handphone over Kebab dinner. Ha...talk about great first timers.

Re: Thanks for the invite

Dear team

Haha this emailing reminds me of 'The Bitch' club - we were 3 trainee girls sharing the same room in Istanbul- Luciana, Mishu and myself. We used to share about our 'girly' concerns ie men, weight, clothes etc

Today will only join u Angie about 8.00pm? Roughly where'll u be then? Think I want to leave my car either in office or at SPK.

Sarah - yes it was a very profound message from the novel. What novel is this? Looks like the reading habit is catching on for you:) Yes I agree that true friends accept each other as they are - as they say love is patient and kind - so is friendship which is a kind of love....and so I think of my 2 ex-roomates from Istanbul - girlfriends who are now somewhere in the UK and Romania- I wish them well and know that they're somewhere in this world.

And I also thank God for my 2 current friends who are near me and sharing my life with me at the moment...Where would women be without other women to support each other?

Pondering life's mysteries....

Fiona

Thoughts...

Who believes in the power of thoughts? Many people advocate that what you think is the most important thing there ever was. I came across this principle again in the book "The Science of Growing Rich" by D. Wallace Wattles. It goes;

"There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which in its original state, permeates, penetrates and fills the interspaces of the universe.

A thought, in this substance, produces the thing that is imaged by the thought.

Man can form things in his thought, and by impressing his thought upon formless substance, can cause the thing he thinks about to be created"

Lately I have been permeated by many negative thoughts and I've been pretty depressed lately - also for the past few months also I've also seen the results of these negative thoughts. It's power is pretty destructive and my mistake was that I underestimated it's lethality.

If that is the case, then I am armed and ready to destroy these crocodiles of the mind. Shouldn't we all?

I leave you with my favourite cliche on thought which goes like this:

"Watch Your Thoughts; They Become Your Words

Watch Your Words; They Become Your Actions

Watch Your Actions; They Become Your Habits

Watch Your Habits; They Become Your Character

Watch Your Character; It Becomes Your Destiny"

Fraser's Hill Trip

Though Fraser's seemed pretty boring but here I take the liberty of writing down the 'minutes' of the last 2 days meeting.

OK, so there's nothing much to do at Fraser's but we seemed to entertain ourselves pretty well ...see below

Saturday

Mid-afternoon : Picnic @ Allan's Water

-armed with our picnic basket of eggs, taboule, sandwhich bread, tomato, cucumber, cheese spread, grapes, pepsi twist and apple juice, we sat by Allan's water under a nice 'pondok' and discussed about history, culture, politics. In between, we were entertained by a 'national' boatrace by the locals which only costs RM6.00 per 15 minute for the participants - free for us though - how entertaining - I was vouching for the most outstanding participant which I name "Tudung In The Wind".

Evening : Season 3 of '24' @ Silverpark Apartments

- then we finished 3 episodes (or was it 4) of '24' in our home-made cinema at block B7-6-1. Pretty good achievement huh?

Late evening: Dinner @ Ye Olde Smokehouse

- yes, wonderful English "hospitality" shown by the staff of the olde smokehouse. I like the ambience of the place -our sour-pussed host fits the description for being the most 'english' thing in the Smokehouse- snobby, bland, blockheaded maitre-d.

I liked the Crepe Suzette and Kidney Steak pie though.

Later evening: Stargazing@ Brinchang Bungalow

- the moon was new and the sky was clear. What a better night than to watch the stars at Fraser's Hill. Brings back memories of my days in Frasers holiday with my cousins when I was in my teens. I managed to witness 2 shooting stars! Philippe saw 1 and then the stargazing ended when the owner of the bungalow came back and wondered why there is a Kenari parked outside. He must have thought he was seeing some stars too

Side events for Saturday - the lock in our door which only wants to be opened by the Silverpark Mat Motor.

Sunday

Morning : Elite Modelling Phone Call

- This was the highlight of my morning here in Frasers. I got a phone call by a Sex-Party Recruiter purportedly representing a firm "Elite Modelling and Event Management" based in Singapore who claimed to be doing a 5-10 minute survey looking for models for a high class party aka orgy. I don't know if I'm interested but I can recommend a few girls though....Philippe wonders why they never call him.

Late Morning: Final Episode of '24' over breakfast@ Silverpark

- this is the best! What's the best breakfast but to eat it over an episode of '24'. Agent Jack Bauer chopping his partner -Chase's hand while we eat Tuna Sandwhich and yesterday's taboule? Ooh la la.

Afternoon :Trek on Rompin Trail

- Romping on the Rompin - a 200meter trail which ended in some ugly squatter apartment. The walks to and from the trail along the Fraser's road was nice though - I managed to get a few specimens for my pressed-flower collection. We even saw a black and white monkey peeing in a tree.

Evening: Devonshire Tea and Cream

- yes, once again we subjected ourselves to the "english" way of entertaining your guests - which includes not giving them enough tea and explaining to your guests that the reason why you cannot have more is because 'The pot is Big Enough For Two'. The weather was typically English though - gray and wet. Though I must say the scones were excellent with strawberry preserves, butter and cream.

Late Evening: Jerai Waterfalls

- Walking to the waterfalls playing word games is quite pleasant - pretty butterflies fluttering here and there amidst the gushing of the Jerai river, the occasional Japanese birdwatchers with their super-large telescopic cameras.....

-Philippe was attacked in the right eye by a bug at the Jerai Waterfalls. Fortunately his eye killed it via suffocation. Complication was, the dead bug refused to be removed and insisted on staying in the eye rather than be eaten by the numerous and various birds of Fraser's hill.

-The Frasers Hill country club is approximately 5 km off the roads of Fraser's aka 'in-the-middle-of nowhere' -it closes at 4.30pm which explains why everyone is dying to get in. The guy at the pro-shop is quite friendly too. He let us know that price for green fees are RM73.50" on weekdays and "RM94.50" on weekends and best of all, allows us to use the toilets which we badly needed to (me to pee and for Philippe to extract the dead bug from his eye)

Evening: Journey Home

- Here's a tip - don't use the normal roads going home unless you like to sit in the car in the traffic jam. If you're heading back to KL, use the NorthSouth Highway from Tanjung Malim -saves you 30 minutes travelling time at least.

The Bibliosopher

Bibliophobe I'm not!

Recently Chiam's email made me realize that I've read more books than I ever had since I could remember. Thanks to my innate goal to read 2 books a month, it's surprising what your mind motivates you to do whether consciously or sub-consciously. I've also to thank the people that motivated me to want to read in the first place, mainly my uncle Vincent (since I was small, he never fails to buy me books ), then Terence who got me more, Florence (my sister whom I sometimes borrow her books without asking), my initial book club members - Pooi Ling, Ju Lin, the fictionandfriends book club people(though I've been guilty of not attending the past 2 meetings) - Chiam and Monisha for the discourse.

So here's my book list for the year 2005

Books Read So Far (Up till June 2005)
1. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
2. Northern Lights - Phillip Pullman
3. Subtle Knife - Phillip Pullman
4. Amber Spyglass - Phillip Pullman
5. The Two Sisters - Tagore
6. The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency - Alexander McCall Smith
7. Reading Lolita in Tehran - Azhar Nafisi
8. He's Just Not That Into You -Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo
9. The Phantom Tollbooth - Norton Juster
10. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

Now reading:
The Piano Teacher - Elfriede Jelinek
Harmony Silk Factory - Tash Aw

According to the National Literacy Survey conducted in 1996, the average Malaysian reads only 2 books a year -this was an improvement compared to 1982's survey which reported a mere 2 pages a year on average -shocking!

No wonder books sales are bad -I was in the Rent-A-Book shop in Central Market last week. I offered to sell some of my books to the shop-owner since I had my bulk of 'already-read-books'. He said "Sorry ma'am, even the books I have now are slow-moving and I have too many already. Business is not so good" Now you know why there are discounts all the time at bookstores and why there are bookstores like Pay Less Books etc.

I wonder why people don't read. Someone said to me "I don't like to read because I don't do anything" - 'Don't DO anything?' - He continues " I'll only read when there is really nothing else to do"

So I ask myself why do I read?

I read because I like to read - because I like to curl up on a couch under the ceiling fan with my book and munch on chips while following a story in my head.
I read to support the book business - because I like the arrangement of the books in MPH and Kinokuniya and how nice and new the books look on the shelf and later on in my bag.
I read because I gain words - because I like to listen to the author's voice and their play with language
I read because I gain knowledge - I hear opinions and learn new things about people, life, myself.

Hence, I read because I like to read!

Lessons from Mount Kinabalu

Upon popular request, I shall now blog down my Mount Kinabalu experience.

Mount Kinabalu- conquered at 0455h, Saturday, May 14, 2005 by me, the first 2 climbers to reach the top for the day.

Whoever said Mount Kinabalu is an easy climb was bluffing. And its even harder if you haven't done your homework about the equipment you need to bring. I remembered laughing when Kaynis said I needed a tracking pole for Kinabalu - now I know why. Thanks Kaynis, I'll take ur advice more seriously in the future. Walking uphill in the rain, jungle, mud for five hours to Laban Rata is no joke. Vincent and Ahpua had cramps even halfway up the mountain. As for me, I was just glad that I wasn't carrying my backpack too as it was almost 90% all uphill climb all the way.

Lesson 1: Prepare !
Lesson 2: If the going gets tough, just focus on your breath and keep walking- don't stop.You will be surprised that you can go further than you thought you could.

I remember on the way up there was a young lady travelling alone with her porter. I wondered how did she feel travelling up alone without any friends. What drives her to climb Mount Kinabalu?



I reached Laban Rata at 5.45pm before the rest -dishevelled, wet, out of breath and glad to finally, finally be at the rest house. The climb seemed never ending - and there was more to come after this! The rest house was already full of climbers having their food at the restaurant, lounging, talking, laughing. Though I knew no one, I could sense a caramaderie among 'us', the people at the rest house - "Yes, we too have climbed the five hours up the hill to reach here. We know how you feel now do come in and rest". Within the hour, all my other 5 comrades reached the rest house. We were really hungry for dinner by then....By then it was already pouring with rain again outside.

Farewell Pope John Paul

Pope John Paul the 2nd returned to the house of the Father on April 2nd 2005 - he was 84.

I remember a time when I was about 8 or 9 years old - a little Convent school girl in blue pinafore attending Cathechism on a Friday afternoon. I always looked forward to Cathechism, not because I was actually interested in the content of the class but because just after school ended (it ends at about 12.05 noon) and just before Cathechism (it starts about 1pm) -there is always a window period to play with my Cathechism mates who also so happened to be friends which i enjoyed playing with. Also I enjoyed class because I always knew most of the answers to the bible questions that Sister so-and-so asked and this of course made me feel very goodla.

One particular Cathechism class I remember was on a hot Friday afternoon in the room behind the Primary CBN Chapel. In the room there were a few chairs, some cupboards and a faded photograph of a man in a white dress and skull cap in the act of blessing a person. Sister Theresa (I still remember her) was our Cathechism teacher for that year and there were a few of us (4 or 5 little Convent girls in blue pinafores)

Sister Theresa began the lesson by posing this question: "Do you know who this person in the white dress is?", she said gesturing to the man in the white dress and skull cap.
-Silence -
"This is The Pope," she said. "Pope John Paul"
- At this point I am a little confused, this little 9 year old girl thinks "I know the Pope, and he doesn't look like the man in the picture and his name is Pope John Paul the SECOND" But of course, me, I never say anything or speak up in class so I let her continue.
" This is Pope John Paul the FIRST. There is now a new Pope who is also called Pope John Paul -that's why he is called "The SECOND"".
All of us little girls come forward to scrutinize the picture of the man in the white dress. Satisfied with Sister's explanation, I too, look at the man in the photograph. At that point I decide, 'Hmmmm...I don't know this guy. He looks like a slimmer and handsomer pope- but I still prefer the Pope John Paul I know"

That's my earliest and fondest memory of Pope John Paul II.

Farewell father, you were the one and only Pope John Paul for all of us!

Book Clubs and Such

Yesterday I attended a very interesting book club who call themselves "Fiction and Friends". Previously I think I posted some updates on my starting a book club and this is the follow up on that story.

The meeting was in Bangsar on a very quiet hill. Not knowing what to expect, I went up to the apartment where the gathering was the be held. The door was ajar already, expecting the coming of guests....and that set the mood of the meeting. I felt of course a little out of place and awkward as it's not everyday I step into a strange person's home, among strangers, to discuss about of all things, books. I was even more abash when everyone started off at the dinner table - not only am I invading someone's house, I was going to eat their food too!

But everyone was just lovely. Not overbearing, polite and friendly - they were genuinely interested and concerned about helping me in my own book club. 8-10 ladies, one gentleman and all sincerely enthusiastic about books. Again I felt a bit embarrassed that my knowledge on fiction and well-known authors was so poor. Nevertheless, they were all very positive and encouraging - there was never any pressure and that's how I think our book club will be.

Sharon, Muntaj, Jessica, Sandra, Monisha, Krishna, the pretty lady with short hair, the quiet lady next to her, the young Chinese girl who reads a lot, Sarab, Shashi - thank you for the wonderful evening and for sharing your love for books!

Sports Mania

Besides the normal gym routine, I've been dabbling into several different sports for the past few weeks. Like golf -I met up with my trusty friend Lau and good ole Canadian Jamison (who inherited what he calls 'crappy'clubs from his wife's customer) at the KLGCC driving range. My parents are golf maniacs who tried to 'convert' me since 1995. However then, I couldn't really hit the ball and golf never took on somehow. Last Sunday's driving session however changed my perception - I can drive the ball up to min 50 metres - and I'm hooked!

Then there's bowling - I went bowling a few times with different bunch of friends. This is not really my forte though -my average pin per bowl is like 5? So my average score for one game is around 50....definitely some room for improvement.

This Saturday, I'll be joining some friends for another round at the driving range and then to a squash game straight after. This will be my first time playing squash. My previous experience with 'racquet' sports eg tennis, badminton have not been very favourable - somehow I'm not so good with whacking things with a bat so we shall see this weekend.

Till then!

The 3 Past Weeks in January 2005

Happy New Year!

Oh well, its the 18th of the month so its not really the new year -better late than never. Highlights from the past few weeks(Chronologically):

Week 1
New Year's Eve Celebration
With Sarah,Kajai Gang, Angie and Pooi Ling
Sarah was my partner in crime from Point A in the Rennaissance dinner with the Kajai Gang, moving on to Point B in Pacific Regency with Pooi Ling and the MC gang up to Point C with Angie and Swedish friends in Thai Bar. What a nite! Thanks Sarah for company -you're the best!


Week 2
Kung Fu hustle Experience
With the Slovaks who had a shock (esp Zuzka)
I love this movie that I watched it twice- hilariously funny! Can't call me a banana if I like this film!

Ocean's Twelve
With Terence and Sarah

Zuzka and Laco's Housewarming
With a whole lot of other people

Week 3
MPO New Year in Vienna Concert
With PLing, Zuzka, Laco and Philippe
I love Strauss!

Run Up Bukit Nanas hill with KK Roadies
With Hui Yee, Yoke Li,Vincent, Ah Pua, Pooi Ling
It was a very nice Sunday morning on Pineapple Hill - green trees, clear morning skies and black mosquitoes. The highlight of the morning was of course the breakfast after at yut kee's - kaya toast, kopi o, chicken chop, mee rojak and half boiled eggs

Hmmm....not bad for the first few weeks of 2005! Looking fwd the the rest of the 49 weeks of the year!

"Plan Your Day, especially the use of free time. Unplanned time often becomes wasted time. Make variety part of the planning" - Rev. Joseph Gallagher