Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Happy Merdeka Day

Selamat Hari Merdeka
Hari ini kena jadi drebar pendekar
Terlupa hari ini jalan tertutup
Jln Tun Razak, Jln Ampang terbuntut
Kereta terpasang jalur gemilang
Semangat keMalaysiaan berkobar-kobar
sewaktu kemelesetan ekonomi yang menular
Harga petrol sudah naik
Nak meraih pun rasa perit
Saya tetap juga nak pergi
Menonton bunga api di KLCC
bersama Indon, Bangla sekali

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Three Colours: White

I found this movie lighter than the first, 'Blue'. While 'Blue' was tragically liberating, I found 'White', tragically comic. I couldn't make an immediate connection between the first and the second as they were entirely independent in style and structure.

An interesting observation by Dave Kehr:

"The structure of the trilogy follows the traditional pattern of a three-act play: an opening statement of the themes and images (Blue), a reversal of those themes (White), and finally a synthesis and resolution (Red) that moves the themes to a different level"

Ahhh....a very clever view point and adds more bits to the puzzle.

White begins in Paris- Karol Karol a Polish hairdresser is being divorced by his French wife, Dominique on the basis that the marriage wasn't consumnated. Having lost his self-respect, humiliated cruelly by his wife, he smuggles himself back to Poland in a suitcase. In Poland, he slowly gains his lost pride which ultimately leads him to exact 'equality' on his cold-blooded wife. The twist to the story happens at the very end where he sees his wife in prison and realizes that she still loves him and he still loves her. Equally ironic.

I liked the film - but thought that 'Blue' was more powerful in delivery. On the side, the funny bit about the screening at AEI was the genius 'pre-empting' of the host on the steamy scenes of the movie. Such is the case if we have to placate purists coming to such screenings.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Staging an Act

It's in a buzz. Head slightly light after a double-dose of coffee. Somehow it can't seem to focus its mind. There are days when it did too many things at once, and had too many things to do. Today is one of them . There were also days it stared at the digital dial on its desktop, time dripped slowly as if through a decanter. It was a first class act. It could change its skin like a chameleon and take on many roles. Some roles required its heaviest concentration of skill and some roles it played with such ease, it didn't require thinking - effortless and subconsciously. The following are the roles it has played this week:

Fire Fighter
Office worker
Phone 'porridge cooker' (Chinese expression of someone who talks too long on the phone)
Rude person
Sex worker
...and the list goes on.

It sits now at its table, wondering what role would come next. Or is it already assuming one at the moment?...Yes, without it realizing, it is now playing the role of 'schemer'. That is why it cannot focus its mind. It is not a natural manipulator of resources and planning. This requires much amount of work and effort to learn and it has not much time. Now that it has realized what it has become, the learning process begins....

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Falling Off the Face of The Earth

The following was sparked by Murakami.

Phone rings
I let it go unanswered

SMS comes
I ignore it

Email drops in
I don't reply

Job postings in inbox
I put it in the trash

Enquiries from customers come in
I cancel the phone calls

Mother Father calls me/sms me. Worried about me
I am not there

Lover calls me/emails me/sms me. Feeling ignored
I disappear, unresolved.

Friends miss calls me, sends me a message. What happened to you?
I am non existent, no response

I sit at home
Feeling nothing, doing nothing
Falling out of the face of society
People stop enquiring
It takes only 90 days to erase a human memory
To be a nothing, wait 90 days
To stay a nothing, do nothing

Monday, August 22, 2005

An Afternoon of Discourse

Last Saturday at La Bodega's was a pretty interesting afternoon indeed. Some of us have met before and some for the first time. And so the 7 of us 'congregated' at La Bodega's Lounge in Bangsar Baru for the first time to talk on....'tan tan ta ra'! ...books! (and also a myriad of related topics....movies, what we do, where we came from, authors, genres etc.) It was also amazing as none of us were from similar backgrounds: some coming from different countries, some locals, some on holiday, some working, some owning their own businesses - everyone's geniality, openness and friendliness amazed me. Thus, I believe that's the magic of book clubs - it takes just the love of books to get people started on sharing. I just love it!

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Flesh is Willing, Spirit is Weak

I froze my Fitness First membership for a few months due to the cost and to see if I could live without going for gym for a month. Its been 4 weeks now and I'm getting that 'lazy' feeling again. The feeling of wanting to go home, curl up with my book and munch on everything in the larder. Haven't felt this for years since I started seriously exercising 2 years ago. But somehow I feel deprived. Something's missing but I can't put my finger on it. I don't miss going to the gym, don't miss getting on the treadmill and sweating it out. In fact there's nothing more boring in the world than to run on a treadmill - going through the same motions repeatedly for 20 minutes - so very tedious and burdensome. But yet, my body wants to go and 'punish' itself and to achieve that 'high' after a strenuous workout. Where you're huffing and puffing and sweat is everywhere like a slick coat on your skin. The feeling when your heart is pumping blood like mad throughout your body and you're still going and going and going is exhilarating. Maybe this is the feeling that I miss but my mind is telling me "no money lar" and "you can always find other ways to exercise lar" or "don't be so obsessed lar"

Think I'm having a case of where 'the flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak'

Wednesday, August 17, 2005


Beginning at the precipice into the cavity, it moved down the chunnel and squeezed by the funnel. Biological clock moves from the top of the body, cells gradually changing, metamorphosizing, dying and sloughing. New ones activate, slowly from the inner to the outer layers. The motion of life slowly pervading to the lower regions of the torso like the gradual sweeping of light over the millions of grass blades overcasting the meadow. Feeding, always feeding -each individual body of life eating at it, the provider, the life force that flows into their path. Now at the heart of it all, mixtures of gas and chemical burst in reaction, frenzied by the gyrations of life. Dub dub, dub dub....but the journey moves on slowly churning and gurgling like a boiling mass in a contained organic pot slowly transforming it like a well-thought of cuisine prepared with utmost care by the host. Once the orgy is over, the activities subside like the guests that lie exhausted from the previous nights alcohol and crazed sex and dancing- dead but useless. Slowly but surely it's journey still continues. Sludging its way through, pushed without its consent, it slides where it can then stops where it can, sliding again and stopping. Who knows when this motion will end? Its uses spent, poor dead creature but it still moves on. At the nether regions, the movement is slowing almost to a halt. It is slowing, slowing. Soon the moment will come - it does not know. It is dead. It lies forever like this, still and unmoving. Still, still, still. And then the instant arrives, a sudden heave of motion expurges the dead thing out, taking with it all the uselessness and waste where it comes into a new world where no one knows where next it will go.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Another dream

I dreamt another dream this time.

She was wearing a black t-shirt and walking ahead of me. This person seems familiar; someone I know. No, I DO know her. She turns and asks me 'Did you lock your car?' My heartbeat rises a notch. I don't recall pressing the alarm button that makes my car go 'tweep' once. 'Tweep tweep' twice is to unlock it. Or did I do both? Locked it and then unlocked it? I want to get back to my car immediately.

Monday, August 15, 2005


I didn't update my blog for 2 days! God forgive me for my blog sloth!
I had a dream yesterday about my colleague. She used to mentor me in the days I was a young executive. She moved on to another country for work purpose, now holding a higher position and doing pretty well.

She was onstage receiving an award - it was a big recognition where everyone looks at you, applause going around, spotlight on you. She stepped down and hugged me like I was the most important person in the world - funny I thought cause we weren't close in that manner - I used to hate her guts for being so bossy and annoying. But she was really happy to see me.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Book Clubs Again

Yes, after months of testing, trying, delaying, procrastinating, I'm finally going to get this book club moving again. It's been really great participating in other books and literary groups like fictionandfriends, the book readings. And something tells /screams at me that it's high time I should start it as soon as possible. Why? Not sure.

I've posted a few notices in 2 or 3 forums, and am encouraged by the response. So we shall have the first meeting soon and start the ball rolling.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Chaque Seconde

By Kyo

Je veux vivre chaque seconde
Comme si demain était la fin du monde
Etre libre pour de bon
A trop vouloir s' élever on tombe

Friday, August 05, 2005

God Bless Girlfriends

Praise God for the providence of girlfriends

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Haze, Traffic jams and Petrol Prices

The weather today: Hazy

So was the weather yesterday - today it got slightly better. The moment I stepped out of my office building yesterday evening I smelt that familiar burnt, dusty, pungent smell again. Reminded me of the haze of 1997 in KL - that lasted weeks.
This morning, it started to drizzle as I got into my car - my concern: acid rain disintegrating the metal body of my Kenari. Thank goodness I drive nowadays. Wouldn't want to have a acid-burn on my way to work.

The financial concern today: Petrol Price

This is the 2nd time this year that petrol prices increased. RM0.10 sen per litre. The last time I pumped was on July 31st - RM40 which is a full tank for my car got me only about 26 litres. Hallah hallah -but am thankful that if a bit of pricey petrol can save my face from acid disintegration, why not?

The CD album played in my car today: Keane:Hopes and Fears

Song of the day is "Everybody's Changing". I swear driving around in my car alone with the music blasting is entertainment itself. RM10 of petrol in the tank and driving (traffic free) is just as good as RM10 at TGV/GSC.

The word on oneword.com today: WEAPON
Time alloted: 60 seconds
Total entries: 63

Here are my favourite 5:

Never use your feminine wiles as a weapon. they'll come back to bite you in the end when you've grown old, fat and ugly. trust me i know this.

[jaded hope]
my weaopn of choice is honesty. but not the easy, every day kind. the stuff that is left unsaid, hanging on the misconceptions of your perceptions. i say what no one wants to hear but NEEDS to hear and the power in uncovering a truth so blatantly ignored moves me beyond words.

[sam spade]
mary took the shower sprayer off it's hook and started spraying between my legs.in her other hand she held a large soapy sponge,which she immediately started rubbing all over my chest,"choose your weapon,"she cooed.

[Devilal Rajappan]
weapons of mass distructions are causing evoke in our world.we have to stop the manufacturing and use of weapons and spread the word of love.love all live long.help others..

my favorite weapon is the pen. you scum-sucking ingrate of a human. i can call you anything i want. fucker. asshole. or i can just stab you with it.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

The Unrequited Love

She smiled back at it
The being in the pond
It smiled back at her
Branches all and frond

When she moved to touch it
It moved back to touch her
She was delighted in her fortune
At last she found a peer

It stood by her in sunny days
It stood by her in rain
At times she thought she was alone
But It took away her pain

"At last I found my one true love"
It smiled and said "Me too"
It's expression reflected hers
A glowing tender hue

Then one day she felt amiss
Her face,hands wilting brown
She didn't feel as strong as before
Dead petals on her crown

It looked at her all sad
It's face mirrored her illness
She looked to It for love while in her dying
All It gave was stillness

Finally her body fell
The flower by the pond
Her reflection in the water did the same
An unrequited bond

Monday, August 01, 2005

Ode to Garlic

White maiden in filmy dress
How you hide your smelly body
I smash you with my cleaver
In hopes that you will weaver
The magic of your senses
Mingling with the aubergines
Baba ganoush unlike ever seen

Cloves in droves
Cloves in droves
Cloves in droves

Oh pretty bulbs sitting in the box
I gather all of you
Many as I can
I cannot resist your temptations
Please please, tickle me with your sensations
After devouring you completely
Your odour resides in my mouth infinitely
Driving away other lovers
I don't need them, don't need the others

Cloves in droves
Cloves in droves
Cloves in droves