Somewhere Only We Know

By Keane
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Hotel Rwanda

I'd wanted to upload Keane lyrics but stumbled upon this interview on the genocide in Rwanda.

And since we were on the subject of movies - I was compelled to mention Hotel Rwanda after reading the interview by this journalist who witnessed the mass killings and genocide in Rwanda.

For those who haven't watched this movie yet - it is highly recommended. Not for it's aestheticity but for the very real message of Rwanda -how we as human beings would respond when we stare evil in the face. In the case of Rwanda, nothing was done. Do pick this up and then read the interview after.

Trois couleurs:Bleu

Yesterday's film at the Asia Europe Institute was another thinker-considered a 'major triumph of European Cinema"- interlaced with orchestrated music and visual themes. Trois couleur Bleu is the first of a trilogy by Krzysztof Kieslowski which examines the French ideals of liberty, fraternity and equality. The role of the woman dealing with the loss of her husband and child seemed made for Juliette Binoche who is absolutely in her element.

In the informal 'toilet debriefing', I mentioned to Amy and Yin Li if I or a lay-Malaysian would appreciate this kind of movie if it were played on a DVD instead of being shown on a big screen of an institution of higher learning amongst literati, academics and students. The answer is I that would - attesting to the fact that the musical score is already imprinted in my mind and Binoches bleeding knuckles scraping the stone wall is still playing in my head. Which I would like to allude my gratitude to organizations like the Asia-Europe Institute for planting the seed of appreciation in our culture-starved soil via these movie features.

Money, Status, Power

He called in last week regarding his case. Actually it was the manager who didn't know how to deal with the request who pushed the phone call in a beep via receiver that pushed his story to me.

The request? To transfer his brother's customers (who was a former terminated sales person) to his name.

He walked in - short, aging, dark skinned 50+ Chinese man with big spectacles.

"Very busy ar? Sorry to come in this time but my case very urgent"

Well, I know your case is very urgent, isn't everybody's own case very urgent?

"You don't know my story -let me tell you ar..."

I stopped him there. I knew exactly what his story was after checking various sources from other departments. Apparently he came in once before a few months ago to plead his case - he did not qualify for the requirements to have the assignation. The manager in charge then tried to help him but they couldn't transfer the cases due to the system limitations (in-built rule in the mainframe) After being explained to, he still wasn't satisfied and was coming in again now to 'try his luck. So I let him talk.

"I am a member of the Union, I know the people there. I will put this in writing and it's only a matter of time before I put in a formal complaint. I'm not happy with the way the management run things. They're always hiding things from us which is not transparent.If you want me to talk to your boss I will.. " yada yada yada

I've heard these lines many times - over and over again. Like a broken record. Don't these people know that their song have been sung by others before? To the same tune?

Then I wondered what it would be like in his shoes. He must be really desperate for money to take over old customers of a terminated sales man. Also, to bear the humiliation of going from one person to another just to get a few pittance in commission. Now he has to deal with a young upstart like me to get his case through.Money - no; Status -no; Power -no. The most pathetic thing is that he tried to use name dropping and co-ersion to get people's attention to his case. And I wonder if at the age of 56 how long and how far would I go to get a few sen in my pocket....God forbid.

Speed of Sound

By Coldplay

Look up, I look up at night
Planets are moving at the speed of light
Climb up, up in the trees
Every chance that you get is a chance you seize
How long am I gonna stand
With my head stuck under the sand
I'll start before I can stop or
Before I see things the right way up


All that noise and all that sound
All those places I have got found
And birds go flying at the speed of sound
To show you how it all began
Birds come flying from the underground
If you could see it then you'd understand

Zouk Girl's Night Out

Mambo Jumbo night - Olivia Newton John & John Travolta's "Grease Lightning" ,Kylie Minogue "I Should Be So Lucky", Rick Astley "Never Gonna Give You Up" basically the good stuff from the 80s and early 90s, guys from Perth trying to get lucky, old friend with her colleague, mini skirts, halter necks....etc

- Inventory list:
1 Glass of Wine
6 Sex On the Beaches
4 Tequila Shots
2 Malibu Rum and Pineapples
1 Beer
1 Big Fucking Hangover

It's a blast - Someone still proves that she can really handle her alcohol (which I greatly admire and still get amazed at). Two still has to go to work today (which they were late for)- two having a big mega headache and puky feeling(and the other doesnt ) Hallelujah hallah hallah

Parking Meter

The parking meter stood at attention every morning. "Yes Sir -Park Here Sir-Thank You for the Change Sir-Have a good day sir!" But every morning, the cars park there and gives the money to the 'Jaga Kereta'instead. That scrubby grubby darkie with the I-swear-they-smell clothes who waits by the side of the road waiting for the next 'car victim' to come. He ignores the poor parking meter and his brothers who stand there faithfully every morning and robs the very sen under their noses from the 'car parkers'. The 'Jaga' knows his stuff - the moment a car comes up the road he runs to the car and motions them like a true professional car park jockey. 'Turn this way' 'Turn that way' 'Reverse a bit' 'Yes Sir this is good' 'Only 1 ringgit park here' 'I take good care of your car'. The drivers look suspicious most of the time but most reach into their wallet to pay the 'Jaga' (in case he does something maleficient to their cars which would ultimately cost more than the 1 ringgit) They never see the parking meters.
Moral of the story:
To get a sale, you can't expect people to put money in your mouth -to get a sale, you have to reach out to the people and take the money.
OR
Look authoritative -people most of the time comply. If that doesn't work, look threatening.

Bastille Day

Yesterday, July 14th (14 juillet) was Bastille Day. We celebrated it at the Ambassador's Residence, Ambassade de France in Jalan Ampang with Champagne and Kiwi Brandy - nice. There were plenty of French people there and the occasional non-French - SPG type girls, a few Indians hovering over the alcohol dispensary and even saw Anna L'italiana there. Also met a pleasant French girl who was Philippe's ex-schoolmate - she works in Alcatel, Wisma Denmark down the road from AIA. Observed the people there (did this amidst trying to act busy - you can only do so much whilst standing and pretending to understand what people are saying). Over the occasional "oui","non","moins","enchantee" - which were the only few words I could pick up - on the flat screen TV a minute of silence was observed in Paris during the celebrations for the London bomb attack victims - cigar smoke blowing in my face - chatter chatter chatter dans le Francais - heels elevated stressing my achilles - live band belting out 'You're Too Good to Be True". A Bastille Day to remember

After the Break In

I opened the car boot to put in my carried paper bag. 'Hey, why is there pieces of glass in my boot? I don't remember carrying anything made of glass' Then I noticed that my boot was empty. Turning to my left, I see the shattered glass, half dangling inwards.
'Oh shit' I exclaim.
Running into the side, I see the locks have been lifted up. Inspected the front for anything missing. Car radio still intact, steering lock still in place. Open the dashboard, everything looks the same. Look at the CDs - they're still there.I run back to the boot.
Losses discovered - missing golf bag - main thing I notice. 'Dammit!'(later on there would be more - Nike shoe box, Sarah's CDs and DVD)
I call Philippe and then the Perodua sales man Kevin.

" It was dark mother. I tried, I really tried but it was too much for me. I had no choice but to break. He and his friends came from nowhere. It was dark. They hit me again and again. Your alarm rang, but they reached in through my broken body. I wanted to cry "Stop! Stop!" but I am silent - torn - only a shattered piece of glass. A man walking pass. He peers at me, inside me. I'm afraid he will reach in. By now I can do nothing. He stops only for a second. Then moves on. Now I am nothing. But mostly I am sorry. I've tried my best and this is what I could give"

There's that car again. Let's do it tonight. No one around. It's dark. Where's the stool? Here it is. Smash it quick. Alarm sounding. Fast fast fast. Put the hand in. Lift the boot lock knob.Open car boot. Grab the golf bag. Grab the shoe box. There's a black plastic. What's inside? CDs, a DVD. Grab that too. Someone's looking. Run, run run.

Obituary Of A Car Window

Quarter Car Window
Born February 2, 2005
Died July 11, 2005

Little Quarter Car Window, you will be sadly missed by Kenari, Brothers Front and Back Windshield, Sisters Left and Right Side-windows and mostly Car Owner Fiona. Thank you for protecting the inside of Kenari from the sun, dust, rain and preventing mosquitoes coming in. Your deeds will not be forgotten

And so you want to be a writer...

"And so you want to be a writer eh...?" says the old man to him.
"Yeah I do..." he replies unconvincingly.

What is it about the people that value the process - you don't get to be egoistic and proud enough to want to follow it through. That's the problem with the little people -they're there to do the work but not to get the name. And which side of the coin is worse? The egoists or the hardworking cowardice? (I'm writing this on computer while being interrupted on the phone - it's true what my creative writing instructor says - that on the keyboard you tend to want to go back and delete what you've written - and methinks the office is not the most convenient place to write anyway) And going back to the young man;

He walks down the street pondering on the old man's question "So you WANT to be a writer eh?"....Gone were the times when he used to bind his own little notebook with the scribblings and doodles which carried the pregnant weight of his thoughts.

"Yes I do want to be a writer -I AM a writer" he thinks.

But he also thinks of the sweat, the tears and the rejections of publishing.

"Oh well, at least I could give it a try"

But he knows in the back of his mind that he will start this pursuit with frenzy which lasts but a few months and from then on it's back to square one. He realizes this but he also holds on to the motto that 'You have only one life to live, so live it!' He also hopes that this time, it would not be just another trivial pursuit.

"Who knows, I'll make it this time - I'll promise myself that I'll keep at it -I'll persevere as I've never persevered before. THAT would make the difference" he mutters to himself.

And so he hurries to the nearest bookshop, full of determination, to get the whitest bound paper weight from Popular bookstore and the smoothest black roller ball pen (and a few other colour pens too since colours stimulate the right brain) and hurries home.

My First Book Reading

Last Friday I attended my first ever book reading at Sharon Bakar's. And boy, it was by far one of the most memorable of my Friday nights.

I was hesitant whether or not to go as it wasn't one of my best days at work. However I made my decision to come since it was so nearby Tropicana Golf and Country Club after the agent's product launching and I needed a quiet but meaningful activity where I can sit and contemplate.

Thing was, Sharon forgot to email that the reading was off since there were only 2 respondees. When I finally got there, it seemed awfully quiet. Sharon's husband answered the door (didn't seem too pleased at my intrusion). Sharon was surprised - I'd just interrupted her musical recorder concerto. But she was really nice and even poured me a glass of wine AND gave me an impromptu performance of her recorder skills.

Not only that, she managed to get Jaeson Iskandar (reader/performer/artist) on her mobile and he was a sweetie - actually gave me a reading from Brokeback Mountain via the MOBILE. Yes, Wyoming, America came alive for 30 minutes for me via the handphone over Kebab dinner. Ha...talk about great first timers.

Re: Thanks for the invite

Dear team

Haha this emailing reminds me of 'The Bitch' club - we were 3 trainee girls sharing the same room in Istanbul- Luciana, Mishu and myself. We used to share about our 'girly' concerns ie men, weight, clothes etc

Today will only join u Angie about 8.00pm? Roughly where'll u be then? Think I want to leave my car either in office or at SPK.

Sarah - yes it was a very profound message from the novel. What novel is this? Looks like the reading habit is catching on for you:) Yes I agree that true friends accept each other as they are - as they say love is patient and kind - so is friendship which is a kind of love....and so I think of my 2 ex-roomates from Istanbul - girlfriends who are now somewhere in the UK and Romania- I wish them well and know that they're somewhere in this world.

And I also thank God for my 2 current friends who are near me and sharing my life with me at the moment...Where would women be without other women to support each other?

Pondering life's mysteries....

Fiona

Thoughts...

Who believes in the power of thoughts? Many people advocate that what you think is the most important thing there ever was. I came across this principle again in the book "The Science of Growing Rich" by D. Wallace Wattles. It goes;

"There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which in its original state, permeates, penetrates and fills the interspaces of the universe.

A thought, in this substance, produces the thing that is imaged by the thought.

Man can form things in his thought, and by impressing his thought upon formless substance, can cause the thing he thinks about to be created"

Lately I have been permeated by many negative thoughts and I've been pretty depressed lately - also for the past few months also I've also seen the results of these negative thoughts. It's power is pretty destructive and my mistake was that I underestimated it's lethality.

If that is the case, then I am armed and ready to destroy these crocodiles of the mind. Shouldn't we all?

I leave you with my favourite cliche on thought which goes like this:

"Watch Your Thoughts; They Become Your Words

Watch Your Words; They Become Your Actions

Watch Your Actions; They Become Your Habits

Watch Your Habits; They Become Your Character

Watch Your Character; It Becomes Your Destiny"

Fraser's Hill Trip

Though Fraser's seemed pretty boring but here I take the liberty of writing down the 'minutes' of the last 2 days meeting.

OK, so there's nothing much to do at Fraser's but we seemed to entertain ourselves pretty well ...see below

Saturday

Mid-afternoon : Picnic @ Allan's Water

-armed with our picnic basket of eggs, taboule, sandwhich bread, tomato, cucumber, cheese spread, grapes, pepsi twist and apple juice, we sat by Allan's water under a nice 'pondok' and discussed about history, culture, politics. In between, we were entertained by a 'national' boatrace by the locals which only costs RM6.00 per 15 minute for the participants - free for us though - how entertaining - I was vouching for the most outstanding participant which I name "Tudung In The Wind".

Evening : Season 3 of '24' @ Silverpark Apartments

- then we finished 3 episodes (or was it 4) of '24' in our home-made cinema at block B7-6-1. Pretty good achievement huh?

Late evening: Dinner @ Ye Olde Smokehouse

- yes, wonderful English "hospitality" shown by the staff of the olde smokehouse. I like the ambience of the place -our sour-pussed host fits the description for being the most 'english' thing in the Smokehouse- snobby, bland, blockheaded maitre-d.

I liked the Crepe Suzette and Kidney Steak pie though.

Later evening: Stargazing@ Brinchang Bungalow

- the moon was new and the sky was clear. What a better night than to watch the stars at Fraser's Hill. Brings back memories of my days in Frasers holiday with my cousins when I was in my teens. I managed to witness 2 shooting stars! Philippe saw 1 and then the stargazing ended when the owner of the bungalow came back and wondered why there is a Kenari parked outside. He must have thought he was seeing some stars too

Side events for Saturday - the lock in our door which only wants to be opened by the Silverpark Mat Motor.

Sunday

Morning : Elite Modelling Phone Call

- This was the highlight of my morning here in Frasers. I got a phone call by a Sex-Party Recruiter purportedly representing a firm "Elite Modelling and Event Management" based in Singapore who claimed to be doing a 5-10 minute survey looking for models for a high class party aka orgy. I don't know if I'm interested but I can recommend a few girls though....Philippe wonders why they never call him.

Late Morning: Final Episode of '24' over breakfast@ Silverpark

- this is the best! What's the best breakfast but to eat it over an episode of '24'. Agent Jack Bauer chopping his partner -Chase's hand while we eat Tuna Sandwhich and yesterday's taboule? Ooh la la.

Afternoon :Trek on Rompin Trail

- Romping on the Rompin - a 200meter trail which ended in some ugly squatter apartment. The walks to and from the trail along the Fraser's road was nice though - I managed to get a few specimens for my pressed-flower collection. We even saw a black and white monkey peeing in a tree.

Evening: Devonshire Tea and Cream

- yes, once again we subjected ourselves to the "english" way of entertaining your guests - which includes not giving them enough tea and explaining to your guests that the reason why you cannot have more is because 'The pot is Big Enough For Two'. The weather was typically English though - gray and wet. Though I must say the scones were excellent with strawberry preserves, butter and cream.

Late Evening: Jerai Waterfalls

- Walking to the waterfalls playing word games is quite pleasant - pretty butterflies fluttering here and there amidst the gushing of the Jerai river, the occasional Japanese birdwatchers with their super-large telescopic cameras.....

-Philippe was attacked in the right eye by a bug at the Jerai Waterfalls. Fortunately his eye killed it via suffocation. Complication was, the dead bug refused to be removed and insisted on staying in the eye rather than be eaten by the numerous and various birds of Fraser's hill.

-The Frasers Hill country club is approximately 5 km off the roads of Fraser's aka 'in-the-middle-of nowhere' -it closes at 4.30pm which explains why everyone is dying to get in. The guy at the pro-shop is quite friendly too. He let us know that price for green fees are RM73.50" on weekdays and "RM94.50" on weekends and best of all, allows us to use the toilets which we badly needed to (me to pee and for Philippe to extract the dead bug from his eye)

Evening: Journey Home

- Here's a tip - don't use the normal roads going home unless you like to sit in the car in the traffic jam. If you're heading back to KL, use the NorthSouth Highway from Tanjung Malim -saves you 30 minutes travelling time at least.

The Bibliosopher

Bibliophobe I'm not!

Recently Chiam's email made me realize that I've read more books than I ever had since I could remember. Thanks to my innate goal to read 2 books a month, it's surprising what your mind motivates you to do whether consciously or sub-consciously. I've also to thank the people that motivated me to want to read in the first place, mainly my uncle Vincent (since I was small, he never fails to buy me books ), then Terence who got me more, Florence (my sister whom I sometimes borrow her books without asking), my initial book club members - Pooi Ling, Ju Lin, the fictionandfriends book club people(though I've been guilty of not attending the past 2 meetings) - Chiam and Monisha for the discourse.

So here's my book list for the year 2005

Books Read So Far (Up till June 2005)
1. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
2. Northern Lights - Phillip Pullman
3. Subtle Knife - Phillip Pullman
4. Amber Spyglass - Phillip Pullman
5. The Two Sisters - Tagore
6. The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency - Alexander McCall Smith
7. Reading Lolita in Tehran - Azhar Nafisi
8. He's Just Not That Into You -Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo
9. The Phantom Tollbooth - Norton Juster
10. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

Now reading:
The Piano Teacher - Elfriede Jelinek
Harmony Silk Factory - Tash Aw

According to the National Literacy Survey conducted in 1996, the average Malaysian reads only 2 books a year -this was an improvement compared to 1982's survey which reported a mere 2 pages a year on average -shocking!

No wonder books sales are bad -I was in the Rent-A-Book shop in Central Market last week. I offered to sell some of my books to the shop-owner since I had my bulk of 'already-read-books'. He said "Sorry ma'am, even the books I have now are slow-moving and I have too many already. Business is not so good" Now you know why there are discounts all the time at bookstores and why there are bookstores like Pay Less Books etc.

I wonder why people don't read. Someone said to me "I don't like to read because I don't do anything" - 'Don't DO anything?' - He continues " I'll only read when there is really nothing else to do"

So I ask myself why do I read?

I read because I like to read - because I like to curl up on a couch under the ceiling fan with my book and munch on chips while following a story in my head.
I read to support the book business - because I like the arrangement of the books in MPH and Kinokuniya and how nice and new the books look on the shelf and later on in my bag.
I read because I gain words - because I like to listen to the author's voice and their play with language
I read because I gain knowledge - I hear opinions and learn new things about people, life, myself.

Hence, I read because I like to read!

Lessons from Mount Kinabalu

Upon popular request, I shall now blog down my Mount Kinabalu experience.

Mount Kinabalu- conquered at 0455h, Saturday, May 14, 2005 by me, the first 2 climbers to reach the top for the day.

Whoever said Mount Kinabalu is an easy climb was bluffing. And its even harder if you haven't done your homework about the equipment you need to bring. I remembered laughing when Kaynis said I needed a tracking pole for Kinabalu - now I know why. Thanks Kaynis, I'll take ur advice more seriously in the future. Walking uphill in the rain, jungle, mud for five hours to Laban Rata is no joke. Vincent and Ahpua had cramps even halfway up the mountain. As for me, I was just glad that I wasn't carrying my backpack too as it was almost 90% all uphill climb all the way.

Lesson 1: Prepare !
Lesson 2: If the going gets tough, just focus on your breath and keep walking- don't stop.You will be surprised that you can go further than you thought you could.

I remember on the way up there was a young lady travelling alone with her porter. I wondered how did she feel travelling up alone without any friends. What drives her to climb Mount Kinabalu?



I reached Laban Rata at 5.45pm before the rest -dishevelled, wet, out of breath and glad to finally, finally be at the rest house. The climb seemed never ending - and there was more to come after this! The rest house was already full of climbers having their food at the restaurant, lounging, talking, laughing. Though I knew no one, I could sense a caramaderie among 'us', the people at the rest house - "Yes, we too have climbed the five hours up the hill to reach here. We know how you feel now do come in and rest". Within the hour, all my other 5 comrades reached the rest house. We were really hungry for dinner by then....By then it was already pouring with rain again outside.

Farewell Pope John Paul

Pope John Paul the 2nd returned to the house of the Father on April 2nd 2005 - he was 84.

I remember a time when I was about 8 or 9 years old - a little Convent school girl in blue pinafore attending Cathechism on a Friday afternoon. I always looked forward to Cathechism, not because I was actually interested in the content of the class but because just after school ended (it ends at about 12.05 noon) and just before Cathechism (it starts about 1pm) -there is always a window period to play with my Cathechism mates who also so happened to be friends which i enjoyed playing with. Also I enjoyed class because I always knew most of the answers to the bible questions that Sister so-and-so asked and this of course made me feel very goodla.

One particular Cathechism class I remember was on a hot Friday afternoon in the room behind the Primary CBN Chapel. In the room there were a few chairs, some cupboards and a faded photograph of a man in a white dress and skull cap in the act of blessing a person. Sister Theresa (I still remember her) was our Cathechism teacher for that year and there were a few of us (4 or 5 little Convent girls in blue pinafores)

Sister Theresa began the lesson by posing this question: "Do you know who this person in the white dress is?", she said gesturing to the man in the white dress and skull cap.
-Silence -
"This is The Pope," she said. "Pope John Paul"
- At this point I am a little confused, this little 9 year old girl thinks "I know the Pope, and he doesn't look like the man in the picture and his name is Pope John Paul the SECOND" But of course, me, I never say anything or speak up in class so I let her continue.
" This is Pope John Paul the FIRST. There is now a new Pope who is also called Pope John Paul -that's why he is called "The SECOND"".
All of us little girls come forward to scrutinize the picture of the man in the white dress. Satisfied with Sister's explanation, I too, look at the man in the photograph. At that point I decide, 'Hmmmm...I don't know this guy. He looks like a slimmer and handsomer pope- but I still prefer the Pope John Paul I know"

That's my earliest and fondest memory of Pope John Paul II.

Farewell father, you were the one and only Pope John Paul for all of us!