Faith

Today I wrote something for a friend who'd lost something.... While writing it down, I heard the echo of her words amidst her tears, 'Why me?

I didn't know what to tell her. I wanted to console her but I knew that nothing I said or did could get back what she lost.

It was on a white card and I wrote it on a blue felt tip pen;

"Take the first step in faith; you don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step"

~Dr. Martin Luther King~

Helpless to help the one you care for is the worst feeling in the world.

I pray for her, that was all I could do and hope those words will find it's way.

Sky Burial

This book is a must-read. It's hard to describe - hopeful sadness, resolution, sacrifice, commitment - it haunted me to the very end.

*The Sky Burial is a Tibetan practice with a sacred significance. . Unlike the Zoroastroan ritual of the 'Towers of Silence' where the body is left exposed on a 'tower', the deceased in the sky burial is smashed and left for birds of prey to feed on.

How to Save A Life - The Fray

Old but good...Thank you S

Sonnet 29

When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state,

And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,

And look upon myself, and curse my fate,

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,

Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,

Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,

With what I most enjoy contented least:

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee,--and then my state

Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth sings hymns at heaven's gate;

For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings

That then I scorn to change my state with kings

~William Shakespeare~

Conversation with a Teddy Bear in the Rain

It's 7am in the morning and Teddy Bear sits dejectedly against the wall on the ground. It's raining; he's all cold and wet.

F: Hi there. Sorry to bother you but are you alright?

TB: Is this a trick question?

F: I was just wondering if you're needing any help I mean.

TB: Sorry I don't mean to be rude. But obviously its not everyday when you see someone get tossed out in the street like this. But judging from the economic conditions (ironic laugh), I'm just another contributing statistic of the unemployed.

F: I'm sorry to hear that. I can see what you mean.....You see, I'm heading off to work and the company is retrenching at the moment. So everyone at work are all sitting on pins now.

TB: Tough. It's one thing to be a statistic - but believe me when you're the one staring it in the face, no one is going to care if you've got kids to feed, or a mortgage to pay or medical bills to take care of.

But do you know what's the worst of it? It's the pain of being told that you're not good enough to stay; not worthy enough to do what you're supposed to do - it's too much to bear for my polyester heart.

(Pauses a moment)

The indignity of redundancy: that's what it is ....an indignity.

F: I really don't know what to say.

But in times like these, despite not having a job, you still have other things - two eyes, a mouth, a nose...you can still walk, you can still talk, you can move , you can do things. You can do other things and not necessarily what you were doing before.

(Pause)

TB: I suppose. But let me a moment here on my own. I need time for myself.

F: I understand. Excuse me, but I have to go; am running a bit late now (looks at watch)

TB: You go on then....oh and by the way.....

F:...yes?

TB: I'm a PANDA bear....not a teddy bear.

The Anne Frank House (Amsterdam)

I saw my first copy of "The Diary of Anne Frank" among the stack of books in the backroom cupboard which my aunt left behind. Strange mementoes of her single, hazy-crazy days when she used to live with us in 16 Jln Midah Tengah in the 70's. It had a black cover and a picture of the eternally youthful Anne Frank. After a decade, she had left, married and had children of her own, but her books were left behind in the small cupboard in the backroom. Being 10, young and curious and forbidden everything, I used to dig into that backroom cupboard for memories left behind and what I found were...books. I remember 'Jaws' ...or maybe "The Exorcist"...or was it "The Pirate"...which would have driven my parents nuts if they found out I read it. Nevertheless, the Anne Frank Diary was one of the curios of my aunt's which she left behind; yellowing and feeding silverfish in that mothball-smelling cupboard.



Fast forward twenty years and I'm standing in the very house young Anne hid in. I stand before the book case showing the different publications of her diary in all its multitude of languages, colours and bindings. But yet, I don't see the publication I read twenty years back. I wondered if it is still in that backroom cupboard somewhere - hiding like Anne in the house, behind a dusty cupboard.

It's amazing how one girl's story has travelled so far and so long up till this day.

De Valk Windmill (Leiden)

"Though the mills of God grind slowly, yet they grind exceeding small; Though with patience He stands waiting, with exactness grinds He all"
-1870 Longfellow

Keukenhof

A burst of colour lit from the flame of God...

The Windmills of the Netherlands (Kinderdijk)

The windmills stood like lonely giants in the mist. Stationery and silent; sentinels guarding the polders on the plain. This was the scene that greeted M, K and I as we ventured forth; sallying forth with our cameras and the earnest hope of capturing the essence of the Netherlands.

A land where half of the nation is below sea-level; the windmills have become the bastion of the temerity and ingenuity of the Dutch in making their land liveable for centuries despite the impossible geographical conditions.





As we walked, I asked M if the Netherlands has suffered the recession to which he replied that it was less pronounced as compared to the UK (measuring in chocolate sales as this was the industry he was in). In the international front, Mr Jan Peter Balkenende's government has also faced the dilemma of pushing through a public stimulus package aimed at the Netherlands' financial industry; it being a double-edged sword meaning deteriorating state solvency and maligning public opinion by digging into public coffers for the sake of the EU-good.



Not a sound can be heard on that silent sphere except the occasional cry of a water-fowl or the splash of the boat cruising down the canal. An ominous mist hangs curiously above the ground; the windmills cast dark shadows like grazing obedient cattle over the plain. It's hard to imagine that these gentle giants have stood here for 300 years.

Nevertheless, the Dutch have lived and triumphed over the elements (1953)throughout the centuries. I believe with the same spirit too, they will rise above the economic tide.

To be or not to be

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

Saint Paddy's Day

HI ALL

COME AND JOIN US CELEBRATE "SAINT PATRICKS DAY"

IRISH DJ FROM 3PM

DARTS MARATHON INCLUDING KNOCKOUT, KILLER AND MORE!!

"A QUESTION OF THOUGHT" QUIZ IN AID OF MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY
( winning team of four has chance to see question of sport being recorded with SUE BARKER)


PLUS MUCH MORE

PLEASE SEE MY ATTACHMENT



Got this message in the mailbox today. Look at how cute the banner is - U2, Jameson's, The Pogues...all things good and Irish.

Mr. Murphy owns the pub down the street i.e. The Horseshoe Inn.
Apparently up till the 1970's, all the pubs in ireland were shut in observance of the holy saint...unheard of today. Now you can enjoy the 'craic'('crack' or 'craic' meaning the talk and banter) and 'leave on your back'....How Irish!

SMK CBN Choir

This clip is so cute and reminded me of my days in the CBN school choir as pianist with Angie leading the society and me being also in choral speaking and drama - We went for competitions too and it was serious business. Practicing after school hours, during school hours, holidays etc. That was the specialness of being a CBNer - we were proud of where we came from and were particular on winning. This was not the exception, it was the rule. The headmistress, teachers and all the girls knew it -whether in athletics, volleyball, in the SPM, PMR or STPM exams, cheerleading, choir, choral speaking etc.

Life in CBN was always varied with special customs and heritages - not always about exams and books (although we excelled here too). We had Literary and Drama Week, New Year's eve sing-a-long sessions, Sports Days, etc. On 16 December 2008, Pos Malaysia issued a set of four commemorative stamps and first day cover, honoring four Premier Schools of Malaysia - evidently Convent Bukit Nanas along with Victoria Institution, SMK St. Thomas in Kuching and SMK All Saints in Sabah.

Looking back, I've had nothing but fondness for my days in school and am pleased that the CBN spirit is still strong evidently in this clip. Once a CBNer, always a CBNer!

p.s. They went on to become the national choir champions for 2008 at the Malaysia Secondary School National Champion Choir 2008. Well done girls!

Over You - Brandi Carlisle

I got these from my musical muses in Sweden - they sure know good music when they hear it.

Christmas Greetings

To my family, friends at home and all over the world,

Blessed be your Christmas and peace be with you every day of the New Year

Fiona

Shortest Day, Longest Night

Yesterday at the office, Hamish mentioned about yesterday being the shortest day and the night before being the longest night (whatever that means).


After quizzing Ben and Andy about it, they mentioned that it was the winter solstice and a time to hug stones at Stonehenge which boggled me more (though they disputed H's date in that it happened two days ago i.e. December 20th) I muttered something like:

Me:' The English: quirky weird'
Ben:'What was that?'
Me:'Nothing!', (walking away)



Sifting around in the bubbling pot of memories, the winter solstice in Malaysia (being a hot, tropical mass) was usually celebrated by going to Mama's place for the 'guo dong' dinner. She knew I loved tang yuen and would never fail to make it. I loved that she loved me eating those coloured balls in sugary syrup as that's how a grandmother would show her care and concern for her grandchildren. No matter how full up I was from eating (and eating) I'd never say no to a bowl of coloured balls.


Fast forward to a year ago, in Sweden, it was the mark of the long, dark days in Stockholm/Umea. The sun would not show - only faint light on gray, clouded skies at 12 noon and by 3.30 it would be pitch dark. The snow was already on the ground in Umea. Whilst walking to school from Alidhem, I used to gaze up at the birch trees along the path and there'd be one or two magpies (large, black ones) in the tree. I'd wonder how these creatures could ever stand the cold..somebody must look after them. By then, I would have left for Stockholm with a peaceful mind.

Christmas in London

Christmas is drawing near and I swear, I've celebrated it this year in London more than I did my Chinese New Years in Malaysia (CNY being the biggest celebration for Chinese). Company dinner parties, cards, drinks, holidays, eating, drinking - it's more than I can bear. New term learnt last week: 'Bah humbug' -Context: Used when you're telling people 'I don't like celebrating Christmas'

The 'Quality Street' Christmas Tree
Put up a Christmas tree in the flat after Frank Caruso, the landlord, discovered it by chance in the loft when I moved in. Mirko and I put it up for the fun of it a few weeks ago but couldn't find any decorations with it. So we hung 'Quality Street' sweets all over it, which works pretty well I must say. Mirko bought lights at the 99p shop in Camden but predictably enough, they were duds.

Corporate Christmas Dinners
In keeping up with the recession in the UK, the project team cancelled the company dinner. Two of my friends' company dinners also got cancelled or were self-financed. Fortunately T&T's Christmas dinner and the PCon Team Christmas Bowling carried on (my first Christmas socials in London) After agonizing over the perfect dress search, I finally returned the ones I bought at Jane Norman and went with my 8-year old black number. It was a loose at first but the flat drier fixed it: Nothing like a good old shrink from the trusty monster (it shrank my socks and pants)

Christmas Goodies
Received 2 presents this year: a box of chocolates from Penny and a fantastic keyboard from Geoff(ok the latter was a loaner, but it's still great anyway) Never expected to get anything much less do anything over Christmas. Transport is at a standstill on Christmas day - not even the buses are moving. Penny gave me her family's Christmas Cake recipe (her mum bakes cakes professionally)and it turned out alright I guess. We'll have this for the Christmas eve dinner (eat) and Christmas day will be spent at church and an open house (eat again!). Expected weight gain: 1/2 a stone

Speaking 'English' English

'Cheers'

Context: When someone's done something for you, you say 'Cheers' as in 'thank you'. Or when you sign off from an email you write ' Cheers' at the end

'Mate'

Context: A name to call someone you want to be on buddy-buddy terms with. 'Thanks mate' 'How're you doing mate?'

'You're a star'

Context: When you want to praise someone for doing a good job or when they've done something for you. 'Thanks Jo, you're a star!'

Lovely/Excellent

Context: What you say when something was done well - or as a praise for someone (but not as high a praise as 'you're a star') ' That's lovely' 'That will be excellent'

Love

Context: Used when addressing a younger person like 'Thanks love', 'It's ok love'

Are you alright?

Context: Asked to show concern...like when you're doing work and trying to concentrate there'll be someone asking you 'Are you alright?' every half hour so you can stop doing your work, start chatting and forget about it.

Did you have a good weekend?

Context: Asked usually on a Monday, in replacement of the usual 'How are you' and 'How's it going' e.g. you see your colleague in the pantry on Monday morning, instead of 'How are you?' it's more appropriate and timely to say 'Did you have a good weekend?'

Let's have a chat/Would you like a chat...?

Context: Same meaning as 'would you like to discuss this?' e.g. 'The issue has cropped up again. Let's have a chat about this over tea?'

Give me a shout

Context: Not to be confused with a cheerleading cry - it means, 'Call me' or ' Notify me' as in 'Give me a shout when you're ready'

Book Clubs and Oedipus

Had a very good Sunday today. First I leapt out of bed at 10.40am and realized I was late for the book club meet. Hurriedly dressed and ran out the door. It was raining, naturally. Fortunately Southbank isn't so far and providence provided a bus 172 just as I crossed the street to the bus stop. Played hide and seek looking for the Giraffe in the South bank centre - finally found it after walking round the Royal Festival Hall twice.

The meeting had already kicked off amid the cafe-bustle, brazilian music and coffee blending machines. Reminded me of the time I had mine in La Bodega in Bangsar - can't believe it was 3 years ago. It was a little hard to hear what the group was saying while being interrupted by the 'Vegetarian salad? Large Cappucino? English Breakfast??' yelled out insistently on occasion. Otherwise, the discussion was interesting covering culture, India, politics and ethics - heavy stuff on a Sunday afternoon but the company was great too.

There were a couple of keen theatre-goers amongst us and one of them wanted to check out 'Oedipus', currently playing a hop and skip away *literally next door* in the National Theatre. The plus was that Ralph Fiennes was in the title role. I invited myself to come along and we tried our luck for the standby tickets for about half an hour when finally we had three very good seats - smack in the centre of the hall, right up front.


The play was superb - Ralph Fiennes was larger than life. He appeared through the large bronze door right in the centre of the stage - stared at the audience and uttered 'You come here weeping and crying. You, you old man get up and speak!' lifted a finger and slowly stared accusingly. It was scary. The cast was no less brilliant ....all of them terribly accomplished in their role. And I liked the stage layout - a circular conference with the large ominous bronze door in the centre almost signifying the wheel of fate with the doorway of tragedy like a gaping hole on the stage.

OK I have to be an ignoramus now and say this: there is a lot of spit emitted in plays. I saw actors spitting when talking, spitting when singing, or spit while standing and putting fingers in their mouths (look at Ralph's picture) I'm sure there's a criteria that one must be able to spit while acting to become truly an actor. I could almost spot which ones were the 'wannabe-spitters' - it had to be the guy at the end of the play - the filler delivering the bad news while Ralph had time to put on some bloody make up. The sanitary team must disinfect the stage every day I'll bet - nice job. Collect some famous spit and sell em.

All in all, a nice Sunday well spent.

Stay in My Memory

Here's a good example of what you may call 'ambient music' by British group BIM with striking animation by Katy Davis

Foux De Fa Fa

Ha Ha Ha hA .......Kiwis Rule!