J, this is for you:
It's been 3 weeks now since 'the cut'. It was in anticipation of happiness; the reason for it happening but all it led to was a slice so deep that it really hurts. It really hurts doesn't it? We try to be brave and move on, but it's another thing to keep revisiting it. Wounded flesh takes time to heal - the only way to do it is to really leave it alone. Do other stuff, distract yourself, get busy, anything but get the injury hurt again. It may take a long time, a lifetime, but we need to heal - we owe ourselves that much. I have good news, consolation for you; the body is an amazing creation - it can, and it will.
(and that is for me too)
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It hurts, really hurts.
This is what one gets for investing emotions?
He always said he cares. Perhaps he cares too much to abandon me like this.
As Nietzche said; Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man.
If that is true, doesn't it tell me to erase all the hopes that I have in finding a job in the UK and return home? The hope of getting a job really is killing me at the moment. More than the hope that the bonkers will take the initiative to contact me.
My dearest, I'd advise you to take the 'rocking chair' test. One day when you're old and gray in the rocking chair, which decision would you have taken and will be happier for it. I'd think the answer is very clear.
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