White Teeth

Snow quietly fell overnight as if God tipped gigantic amounts of vanilla sugar everywhere. It's all white and powdery and looks prettiest on the giant trees. Feels like Christmas' in the air even though the end of February is approaching. I like walking in it the most i.e. feeling my foot sink into the stuff, jumping, stomping around in it but risk looking like a stoner stumbling on the sidewalk. Sometimes feel like yelling 'whee' and throw myself in mounds of pristine unbroken snow or maybe scooping some and putting it in my mouth. Rule no 1 of eating snow is, 'Don't eat yellow snow' which are always canine-markings saying 'MY space'...Some are just splats on white but I saw some funny ones today in undulating waves like some crazy art doodle, then realized it was the poor dog trying to keep up with his walker while spraying. Other wise, snow is great. Never get tired of it.

Zombie

Zombie - "is a person who is believed to have died and been brought back to life without speech or free will"

Last week was Zombie-Marathon week. Watched 7 zombie movies within 2 days, namely the 3 seminal Romero classics (Night of the Living Dead (1968),Dawn of the Dead (1978) and Day of the Dead (1985)) and the brilliant Shaun of the Dead. Fell asleep with visions of flesh eating dead scrounging for the flesh of the living.

Useless fact 1: To kill a zombie. shoot them in the head or smash the brains.
Useless fact 2: Zombies don't move very fast so you can outrun them.

There's even a Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks.Very detailed stuff on zombie causes, strategic tactics on fighting zombies, defending against zombies, attacking zombies etc. (you get the drift)

Rue the day you watch a B grade slasher films but the zombie genre is somewhat addictive. Zombie information is rampant out there and you begin to wonder if they are real. Too late, you realize after watching all those zombie movies, that you've become one your self. Mwah hah hah

Finding MSPME

Thus ends the MSPME 2006/2007 course. It has been a wonderful, tumultous, roller-coaster 16 months for the 26 souls who braved leaving their families, jobs and homes to arrive in Europe in 2006.


Hedi and myself attended the final theses seminar which belonged to Vara and Bharad which incidently was the last session in the whole course at 5pm on January 15th, 2008 in Room S305. Especially difficult to fathom as we had laboured over so many hours of classes, assignments and case studies.


All of us successfully received our Masters degree in hand at our graduation dinner on the 16th of February 2008 with a nice dinner and ceremony at E Pub. The co-ordinators from each university i.e. Dr Paul Gardiner from Heriot Watt University, Prof. Antonio Calabrese from MIP Politecnico di Milano, Prof. Anders Soderholm, Tomas Blomqvist and Monica Palmqvist from Umea University witnessed this moment which was pretty nice. The miracle of the moment according to Anders was actually seeing this event happen after years of planning for the course. It took so much time to co-ordinate and wait that they(the co-ordinators) were beginning to wonder if any students would come at all.



Words can say so much and it's impossible to express the precious moments in the past 16 months. Many tears were shed and sad good byes said in the last few weeks. A course-mate smsed me after returning home saying "We were not just coursemates, we have become family"



Last week my Creative Songwriting group wrote and arranged a song within 2 days which I find pretty fitting. So I've made a short presentation on my personal-view of the last 16 months with it.

Finding

Travelling in the space
Of your open mind
You will find a place
See what lies behind
And when
You see a glimmering
You just find

Bridge

Silence
Can bring out your art
Listen
You will feel your part
And when
You hear your heart
You will find

ps. Special thanks to Malin, Maja, Amanda, Olov and Elina for this track (it was all recorded live on a little mp3 player therefore apologies for the sound quality)

2008 Curriculum Vitae

Fiona Wan...professional pole dancer, song-writer and musician. Manages musical and movie projects with international training in project management in the UK, Italy and Sweden. Extensive marketing and sales experience in financial services in the Asian Markets. For consultation call +46 7 333 1357

The New Year

Here we are, another year before us.

The year 2007 has been the first time I've spent the entire year away from Malaysian soil. It was a year of firsts for me. And it was two fold.

I spent a lot of the year in self-reflection. And I found a lot in giving to others and also in being comfortable with solitude.

I spent the New Year in a rather unexpected way. It was a nice surprise too.

While surfing I came across an apt quote: "The best way to predict the future is to INVENT it" How apt.

My MSPME Experience

"How are you na?" says Jasmine. "Na" being the Indian equivalent to the particle "Lah" like how Malaysians do.

"Ok la....whassup?" says me

"How's theses getting along?"..says Bakthier. Yeah theses, writing, assignments. Trust the Uzbeks to get serious or un-serious like Kirrill....and dammit I still don't know how to spell his name.

"OK.Going to IKSU later...jajajaja"...says Isaac. 'Jajaja' is the Mexican way of saying "Hahahaha"...you know cos the 'J' is a 'H' in Spanish...don't ask me why.

'Snap snap snap' sound in the background. It's Hedieh doing her hand thing ...I am not sure if it is an Iranian thing as I've never seen it before. Ernesto, the Prada-clad-always fashionably dressed-Mexican is very adept at doing it now.

There's a wailing sound in the background...like a very excited cat or a howling dog. It's actually Minh when he's all worked up about something. I am not sure if all Vietnamese sound like that but Nga (the little wonder) and Tau (the wisest among us all) doesn't make that noise. But I've heard Vilma do it too....so it must be Filipino in origin.

"Haaa....another cake ?"...says Amy. She's seen the amount of cakes on the table.

"Yeeeeeeehh..." says Meng. She's the sweety in the group - sweet like a smartie and likes cakes too. Meng also has the funnniest MSN messages next to her nick...today it is saying "Dear Santa, I need a final theses"...don't we all.

"At least someone eats the cake....no one has eaten the pasta" says The Queen (who is always right)

"Hey watch it....No one is going home without finishing the pasta" says Han (the Malaysian guy)

"Don't worry Han, I will eat all the pasta for you" says Philip.(Hahahahah) Philip will eat for a friend, you can count on him. Duo Li our other Chinese compatriot might not though....he once told me "You shouldn't eat food when it's cold. The salt in the food will stay in your stomach"

In the corner, a conversation is taking place:

Ghaz: What? Who said that?
Vara: (Shaking his head from side to side - which is either a yes, no or I don't know)
Bimal: This is Bimal.
Vanessa: I don't get it!
Jene: To hell with it, let's dance!


In the other corner, a drinking session is taking place:

Tiago: Hahahhahaha
Priscilla: Hahahahaha

And there goes yet another MSPME party.Lots of good food cleared from its plates....dishes piled on the table. Someone usually washes. We laugh and joke about stuff that happened in class. Take lots of pictures.....We were ordinary people with extraordinary talents. Ate a lot, shopped a lot, traveled a lot, worked a lot, studied a lot, partied a lot,shared a lot....26 people from 12 nations...who dragged 1500 kg of luggage all over Europe, baked 122 cakes, had 49 birthday parties, missed 52 flights, spent 2000EUD on shopping, stayed in 330 different hostels, dirtied kitchens in Milan, Edinburgh and Umea, submitted 780 assignments, wrote 395 exam papers.....If that wasn't a whole lot, I don't know what is.

Guess I have to make another video about this (Fiona, 2007)

Christmas in Stockholm

Twas the eve before Christmas
Lit candles cos it was cold
Cleaned the room a few days ago
Washed out dust and mould

Its quiet around here
Just the plumbing a-whirring
Nobody in the corridor
No student a-stirring

Another day in December
Named Christmas so seeming
Apparently celebrated widely here
but not without meaning

The city awaited
The white-driven snow
All that blanketed Stockholm
Was frost, freeze and thaw

Frenzied shoppers rushing
On Drottninggatan; Vallingby
bumping each other like pinballs
Siau-wei, like for free

So sitting here in the room
Overlooking the city
The lights wink back at me
Saying a calm and peaceful

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Stockholm Syndromes

Hanging out with Sezar in Stockholm has been funny...was in Drottninggatan with his mate Stefan for a meal..It was a surreal evening where we discussed books, the theory of evolution in relation to specks, how wasted time is also karmic, procrastination is sitting in front of the tv and growing a belly which is the same as showing sacrificial love so you could tell your mate ´I did it for you´.

All the while I had a view of a dimly lit shelf of tiger striped and cheetah faux fur while a little girl with a Santa hat came around asking for letter for Santa and we gave her our receipts. Out the window it was cold but people were still walking around finishing up the Christmas shopping. I had a view of the door to AIG Europe.

The importance of recognizing the signs came to mind.

Fen Shou Ba/Let's Break Up

Finally I've found this song after so long...almost 9 years...Thanks to Calvin who made me listen to this song in the first place in 1999. Then Dresden helped in deducing the song with a few clues. How ironic is it that I found this song now at the final leg of the course.

We've finally reached the end friends....I dedicate this song to all of you the amazing MSPMErs of 2006/7 (no doubt who's the best)

ps. Pay no attention to the silly video... the song is really great!
Duo Li and Philip if you can please provide the english translation....

Jam Partners

Last Thursday was with Lorentz and Valeria at the music room again...It's really fun to jam with such cool people - Lorentz is my Swedish host in the International Host programme and senior lecturer in Music and Education in the Lararhuset while Valeria is an Italian rocker babe studying Swedish here in Umea.


Valeria on drums, Lorentz on sax and guitar and me on the keyboard.We played Caravan, Be-Bop-A-Lulla, Blue Suede Shoes, Jailhouse Rock and Run run Rudolph....I didn't record our session but here's what we coulda looked like in this clip:

OK so we're not Hanson but we were just as cute:P Here's a big THANKS to Lorentz and Valeria for educating me in the aspects of rockabilly, blues and jazz. Rock on guys!

White Winter

Snow, snow, snow!

This is my first real snow experience.... A birthday bash for Amy was held in my kitchen in Alidhem and that was nice. We continued the party at the music room about 15 mins walk away in Lararhuset. I was a little surprised upon stepping outside - the whole world was white whereas a few hours before it wasn't. Airy, feathery snow flakes falling everywhere....lovely. We started a snowball fight...just couldn't resist all the white stuff around (made me feel like a kid all over again) Walking to the music room later, it was as if we walked into a picture with the snow hanging on the trees, on the fences, everywhere, hearing the snow crunch under your feet...so clean and white. I'm glad I got those pairs of boots even if I had to carry it all the way from Edinburgh a year ago.

Night Falls

Night falls. Or has fallen. Why is it that night falls, instead of rising, like the dawn? Yet if you look east, at sunset, you can see night rising, not falling; darkness lifting into the sky, up from the horizon, like a black sun behind cloud cover. Like some from an unseen fire, a line just below the horizon, brushfire or a burning city. Maybe night falls because it's heavy, a thick curtain pulled up over the eyes. Wool blanket. I wish I could see in the dark, better than I do

Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale

Umea Sunset by hhsc_2000 Greg

The Days Turn into Nights

The days are really getting shorter here....I knew about it as they have warned us before we came but I didn't anticipate how much it would impact my mood and biological pattern. When I wake up at 8am it feels as if it's still 6am and I usually DO wake up at 6am. So if I though I was early, I was actually late. Bang! There goes my day (because I usually like being early) The sky is gray and overcast as if it were 7pm the whole day and by the time it's 4pm, the sun is setting (IF you can see the sun) and it gets dark by 5pm. By now, I feel as if the day has already ended and would like to crawl into bed to sleep - and this would be 6pm. Talk about being unproductive...So I'd force myself to stay awake until 10pm...get out of the room, go to gym, go to the library. ....DOn't blame the Swedes if they wanted to finish work at 4.30pm and no wonder they eat lunch and dinner so early....11.30am and 5pm respectively. Now I know how bears feel when they hibernate....Malaysian Honey Bear getting used to Polar temporal conditions...grrooowllll-yaawwwwnwnn (Polar bears are cute here though)

Palindromes

Don't nod
Dogma: I am God
Never odd or even
Too bad – I hid a boot
Rats live on no evil star
No trace; not one carton
Was it Eliot's toilet I saw?
Murder for a jar of red rum
May a moody baby doom a yam?
Go hang a salami; I'm a lasagna hog!
Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas!
A Toyota! Race fast... safe car: a Toyota
Straw? No, too stupid a fad; I put soot on warts
Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?
Doc Note: I dissent. A fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod
No, it never propagates if I set a gap or prevention
Anne, I vote more cars race Rome to Vienna
Kay, a red nude, peeped under a yak
Some men interpret nine memos
Campus Motto: Bottoms up, Mac
Go deliver a dare, vile dog!
Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo
Ah, Satan sees Natasha
Lisa Bonet ate no basil
Do geese see God?
God saw I was dog
Dennis sinned

A famous palindrome:
"A man, a plan, a canal: Panama!"

and finally my personal favourite,

"Sums are not set as a test on Erasmus!"

Elementary Swedish: En Dag i Min Liv

Fiona vaknar kvart i atta pa morgonen.

Efter frukost gar hon till universitetet.

Hon jobbar i en project management kurs. Sedan hon spelar piano nagra timmar.

Pa eftermiddagen hon graddar en kaka

Pa kvallen traffar hon Vanessa.
Vanessa ar 25 ar i dag
"Gratis pa fodelsedagen Vanessa!"

Aurora Dreams

Last night one of my dreams came true - I saw the Aurora Borealis. I had to walk down a very dark road and through the forest to get to the lake...felt a bit silly though but I had a feeling that tonight was THE night. Was a bit scared by the thought of being attacked by bears or some wild animal. Shadows casted funny shapes on the branches and leaves and I jumped once at my own shadow. Finally I came through a little clearing with the view of the water.After getting over the spookiness of the dark, the beauty of the night gradually loomed before me. Millions and millions of stars were in the sky that night. You could see their little points of light reflecting from the calm inky surface of the lake. There was total silence and the trees occasionally rustled (from the wind?)Quietly I waited, not knowing how long I would stand there in the cold. It was after 5-10 minutes or so when the lowest stars started to dazzle and shimmer very brightly....something was happening off the horizon. I looked again, not sure if it was my imagination. There it was, that red low star and the white one off to the left flashing like mad. Slowly slowly, a white shadow like a moving cloud appeared. It began changing shape and before I knew it, a band like a very faint greenish arc materialized over the horizon. It moved constantly; sometimes like a line, sometimes like a cloud, sometimes getting brighter and sometimes fading away.. It was a very shy aurora, not very bright but nevertheless one which was there; which I have waited for a long time to see. It remained in the sky with me, doing its little dance in the sky. Slowly, it moved to the left, blocked by the trees and out of view and finally was no more.

Unfortunately I didn't take any pictures with me. However at the exact hour, a few kilometres away at another lake, Nicolas Zea, a photographer in Umea was photographing it. He's kindly given me permission to post it which is the photo you see here now.

Jennifer Lopez - Do It Well(Official Music Video)

Ok this is me distracting myself from the exam on Monday but I find this video very funny- JLo kickin ass!

Life Changing Experiences

I met up with Kim Chu online and we had a nice chat. She's now setting up her own child learning experience centre now. Whilst chatting I heard that Khay Ling got married in London to her sweetheart she met in her AIESEC traineeship in India.

Now I look back 7 years ago how I was going to INTI college to recruit some SNs (Student Nominees in AIESEC terms). It was a new initiative which I was interested to pursue with the encouragement of my EB members because it was something new which LC UKM hadn't done before. It's funny how this event in my life connected to the current lives of others. If we hadn't gone to INTI, we wouldn't have met Khay Ling and if Khay Ling hadn't decided to go to India, she wouldn't have met Lasse and if she hadn't met Lasse, she wouldn't be in London now, happily married.

Life sure works in mysterious ways

Graffitti

Seen spray painted on the road, in between Alidhem and the university

"Kill Your Boyfriend"

500m further on

"Kill Your Girlfriend"

Otherwise, Umea is 'graffitti'less and spotless

Two Worlds

She hurried down the street determinedly, as if a hurricane was blowing her persistently from behind. A man walking in the opposite direction almost collided into her...little did he know that the inner force driving her was the motor in her mind whispering 'Go, go, go'...Her mind was in the future; what she needed to do in the next five minutes, what she would be doing in the next 5 days, the next 2 months, checking lists mentally, calculating.

She walked leisurely down the beaten path - there were bikers deftly maneuvering between the pedestrians. How she admired them...they must feel powerful on their spindly machines. Two women were walking in front of her, casually talking about something 'the weather?' she wondered... The wind was blowing, the gust of wind against her, trees rustling,the sound of 'flap-flap-a-flapping' in her ears. She has never felt so in the moment....so in the now.